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Healing Rosie

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The Secret Fears That Keep Us Sick & Struggling – And How to Heal

“You’re going to grow up, go to college, and not depend on a man!”

This was the message my mom started programming me with from a young age… 6, 7, 8 years old… born out of her trauma of struggling in a marriage where there was never enough money  to cover our family expenses, married to a man who thought it was “women’s work” to help out at home with the kids, housekeeping and shopping.

Growing up, my mom was a strong woman … SUPER woman, who did it all raising 4 kids:  worked full time, managed our finances, kept up the house, handled all the shopping, helped us with our homework, took us to church.

She carried a heavy load, and as the firstborn, I was mom’s little helper, taking care of my siblings, making sure everyone did their chores and lightening mom’s load wherever I could.

My mom’s grandmother (my great-grandmother) was married to an entrepreneur.  He owned a furrier in downtown Columbus, Ohio, and they were a very affluent family of six children.

In 1934, her husband died of double pneumonia, and the townsfolk offered to take the kids in…

That was the only way that the family typically survived in those days, separated.   

In the 1930s, there were no single mothers or female entrepreneurs, yet my great-grandmother asked the man helping her husband run the business to stay on and she took over, running the business and raising six kids alone…

Growing up, I’ve seen my grandma and mom display the same grit, strength and courage… we’re all imprinted to take care of everyone and do what it takes to survive.

I was raised to take care of everyone … to be a problem-solver, to give selflessly and to act independently, so as not to burden others.

In the waiting room before my second surgery to fix a prior one that almost cost me my life, I was alone and scared.  I hadn’t told any of my friends what was happening with my health and felt so uncomfortable asking for support…

But I needed someone to be there with me.

I was scared that if I reached out for help, I might be a burden.  People are busy… I typically don’t need anyone’s help … 

I was afraid to reach out – I was embarrassed to NEED support!

This belief that I shouldn’t need help showed up a lot in my life… 

I didn’t know it at the time, but it was keeping me stuck in patterns that weren’t serving me.  

I started cycling through burnout after these surgeries… my body just wasn’t as resilient as it had been, and I realized I had some deeper healing to do.

In this interview, Cory and I  talk about how high-performing women can learn to cultivate the vulnerability that is required so we get the support we need to heal and thrive in our lives.  

We don’t have to suffer in silence and isolation… we can embrace the deep work of deconditioning and show up in a way that allows others to support us. 

This was a very emotional interview for me… and I’m so excited to share some of this magic with you!

"The nervous system doesn't seek out what it wants; it seeks out what's familiar."
-Cory Muscara

ABOUT Cory Muscara

Cory Muscara is a former monk, host of the Practicing Human podcast, and bestselling author of the book, Stop Missing Your Life.

With over 500K followers across his social media channels, Cory has gained popularity for his down-to-earth, engaging and accessible teachings on mindfulness, wellbeing and mental health.

He has taught Mindful Leadership at Columbia University, is an instructor of Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, and for the last ten years has offered mindfulness keynotes, workshops and retreats around the world to companies like Bank of America, Prudential, Johnson & Johnson, Principal, Travelers, BlackRock and more.

Named by Dr. Oz as one of the nation’s leading experts in mindfulness, Cory’s meditations have been heard more than 25 million times in over 150 countries. His goal is to share wisdom teachings in a practical and accessible way.

resources

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show notes

  • [03:17]
    The turning point in a high-performing woman’s life that made her take a 90° shift towards vulnerability
  • [05:15]
    Tricky reason why most women are more inclined to give than to receive
  • [08:19]
    The foundation of transformative work and how to find the path to get there
  • [10:27]
    Where isolation and misplaced independence at adulthood may come from and how to heal these tricky patterns
  • [14:23]
    The response you’re afraid to hear when you ask for help
  • [16:02]
    FACT: Why it’s easier to ask for support from people you barely know than from those you have intimate relationships with
  • [16:33]
    The critical role of community in your journey to vulnerability and where to find these support groups
  • [17:57]
    The pain we’re trying to avoid within existing relationships when we begin deconditioning from taking on too much responsibility
  • [23:28]
    3 Practical ways to grow out of reacting subconsciously and start responding with intention
  • [27:00]
    10 minute morning habit that will help you create a safe space to be vulnerable
  • [30:39]
    How to reconnect and trigger a conversation with your younger self to escape a cycle of self sabotage
  • [34:03]
    The one and only person who can give you permission to break apart from isolation and silence to thrive
  • [36:24]
    The art of making people understand and acknowledge your experience and vice versa to create a support system
  • [41:12]
    3 FREE ways to get practical healing strategies for your body, relationships and al aspects of your life!

CATEGORIES

About Misty Williams
& Healing Rosie

Misty Williams spent years struggling to reclaim her health and vitality after surgery to remove an ovarian cyst, life-threatening complications and an endometriosis diagnosis sent her into a brain fog and fatigue tailspin.
Her doctor told her that the only remedies for her issues were drugs and surgeries, that her labs were “normal” and she could “google” to learn more about what was happening to her body.
At 35 years old, Misty embarked on the fight for her quality of life, enduring many more challenges on her road to healing, including an unexplained 45-lb weight gain, debilitating brain fog, fatigue, hypothyroidism, and premature ovarian failure.

She founded HealingRosie.com to provide high-performing women with the resources an community to successfully confront the unexpected chronic health issues that women often experienced as they age.

What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode?

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