Healing Rosie

Breathwork Rewired: How to Rewire Your Nervous System to Get Better Sleep, Dissolve Stress and Help Your Body Heal

Josh Trent Breathwork Rewired
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Breathwork Rewired: How to Rewire Your Nervous System to Get Better Sleep, Dissolve Stress and Help Your Body Heal

I went over 144 hours (that’s over 6 days) with no sleep. I was coming unraveled emotionally, weepy and overwhelmed… Why can’t I sleep???

I tried every trick to get some shut-eye after a botched operation. I was at my wit’s end, so I called a dear friend and high performance coach for help.

After hearing about my story and telling him everything that’s happened to me, he told me: you need to breathe.
He told me the breath pattern I needed to do while meditating, and I hung up, laid down on the floor in my bedroom and started practicing.

In about an hour, I felt myself dozing off. So I got up from the floor and crawled into bed.

That was the first time since my surgery that I was able to sleep.

When I started hearing my colleagues talk about the amazing benefits of breathwork, and even incorporating it as a spiritual practice, I knew this was something powerful that we all need to learn!

In this interview, I’m talking with my friend Josh Trent about the power of breathwork for re-regulating your nervous system so you can induce a parasympathetic response to get better sleep, manage stress and start healing.

Together, we explore:

  • Start your day right! Why “Circular Breathing” is a crucial practice to add to your morning routine
  • If you’re new to breathwork, learn this simple strategy to get you started
  • Need to reconnect with your partner? This breathing exercise done together will help you feel more connected with each other
  • Get BETTER sleep in less than 5 minutes! Use this breathing technique to prime your parasympathetic nervous system for great sleep
  • Bye-bye depression! Use the “two-part breath” exercise to release negative emotions and feel at peace

timestamps

05:25 – Getting to know what “breathwork” is and how it can help you

6:24 – Two important things happen when you “breathe”

11:25 – The 3 pillars you need to focus on when getting started with breathwork

13:26 – Horizontal Breathing vs Vertical Breathing

14:55 – Do breathwork the right way by doing the invisible balloon method

17:38 – The three phases of breathwork

21:26 – Create a healthy relationship and learn how to use non-violent communication with your partner

28:37 – Use this strategy so you can feel more present with your body

33:52 – Find yourself fighting with your partner? Do this breathing technique to calm down

37:24 – The “two part breath” that you can add to your meditation routine

44:41 – Use this breathwork practice daily and strengthen your parasympathetic system

46:34 – Start the day right with by using this circular breathing technique

47:00– If you want to feel more grounded, use the box style breathing technique

53:03 – Use this breathing technique if you want to get into a deep sleep

resources mentioned

transcript

Misty Williams  00:01

Hey, sister, this is Misty Williams, founder of healingrosie.com. And I’m so excited to welcome you to Rosie radio. Tune in to find clarity, direction and hope for your healing. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

 

Misty Williams  00:13

We created this show to empower you to regain control of your life and feel like yourself again. Yes, sister, it is possible that I’m super excited to have my friend Josh Trent with us today to talk about something that has been a recurring pattern for me the last six months. 

 

Misty Williams  00:29

I was at an event last fall with Seth Spheres who is the husband of Katie Wells, you may know her brand Wellness Mama, she has one of the largest Natural Health blogs in our space, really targets moms. He and I were chatting about an experience he recently had in Austin with our mutual friend, Josh, around breathwork. 

 

Misty Williams  00:52

He was just raving about how deeply transformative it was to come and spend time with Josh and Austin just focusing on breath and breathing. And I remember at the time thinking, Oh, that’s really interesting. And just filing it away. 

 

Misty Williams  01:06

I don’t know Josh as the breathwork guy, I know him in other contexts in ways. And then after that, this idea of breath kept coming up over and over and over again. For me, people would mention breathwork, they would talk about how important breathwork can be for rewiring your entire nervous system. 

 

Misty Williams  01:22

I did an interview with Ari Witten for this event. And if you’ve seen that interview, he talks extensively about the importance of breath work in basically re-regulating your nervous system and really inducing a parasympathetic response so that you can heal. 

 

Misty Williams  01:39

So because it keeps coming up over and over for me, I have started integrating some breath work into my own morning routine, along with meditation. I really wanted to do an interview where we dove into this with someone that had some really good expertise. 

 

Misty Williams  01:57

Not only are we going to talk about breath work, but we’re going to actually do some breath work together. I think that’s going to be really, really powerful. 

 

Misty Williams  02:06

My goal for you is at the end of this conversation at the end of this video, you will know what you can do. You can add it to your own routine to begin practicing something that can powerfully support your body in healing. 

 

Misty Williams  02:22

Josh has spent the past 19 plus years as a trainer, researcher and facilitator discovering the physical and emotional intelligence for humans to thrive in our modern world. The Wellness Force Media mission is to help humans heal mental, emotional and physical health, through podcast programs and a global community that believes in optimizing our potential to live life. 

 

Misty Williams  02:22

This is going to be a fantastic interview and conversation today. And I’m super excited that you showed up for it. So Josh Trent is the founder of Wellness Force Media, host of the Wellness and Wisdom podcast, and the creator of Breathe | Breath and Wellness program. 

 

Josh Trent  02:58

Thank you for having me. And he’s a beautiful baby boy. It’s funny. We go around town and people are like, is that a girl or a boy? And I’m like, well, it’s whatever you want. It’s a boy. It’s a boy.

 

Misty Williams  02:58

Well. Josh’s life is dedicated to supporting humanity and coming together as one. And Josh is a new father of a beautiful baby boy named Noah and I have been booing and eyeing over all the pictures. And I’m sure we’ll hear a little bit about that part of his journey as this interview unfolds. So welcome, Josh.

 

Misty Williams  03:33

So you and Carrie have been like just the juiciest, most excited nurturing mama and papa bears to this little baby bringing this being into the world. It’s been wonderful to see you step into a whole different part of your being. There’s this protective, powerful nurturing side of you that’s just like converged and is really fierce. And I love seeing you so in love with both your son and Carrie and, and I’m really thrilled for you. So congratulations.

 

Josh Trent  04:09

Yes, thanks. I have a lot less free time. But all the time that I have is love time. Dedicated, I put my intentions on the things that matter most. 

 

Josh Trent  04:20

When you have a child, it’s like nothing else really matters besides the health of that child, the health of yourself and your family. I mean, it always does matter most, our health and wellness. But it really goes to a different level of awareness when you have a child on earth because it ain’t about you anymore.

 

Misty Williams  04:20

Yeah. 

 

Misty Williams  04:35

Yeah, well, that’s really beautiful. And I’m super excited to see you continue to blossom and I’m sure there’s going to be so many things in your own journey that will begin to permeate your work and you’ll be sharing with the world. 

 

Misty Williams  04:49

I’d love to just kind of kick things off with an intro here. Breathwork, when Seth told me that he came to Austin to do breath work with you, I was like, Oh!, I didn’t know that people came to Austin, do breath work with Josh. But then of course, as I kept hearing more and more and more about it. I went from being intrigued to, oh my god! This is something I need to integrate. 

 

Misty Williams  05:11

So for those that were like me before Seth said to me that he actually made a trip somewhere to do breathwork, Why don’t you give us a little overview of what breathwork is? Why is it so important for us to integrate this into our daily practices?

 

Josh Trent  05:25

Sure, in its simplest form, The Art and Science of Breath or Breathwork is really just controlling your respiration, so that you can pull the only autonomic or automatic lever you have for your stress. And that’s it just everybody let that land for a moment. We all breathe yet the way that we breathe, we learned from our parents and society as an adaptation to the stressors we’re experiencing. 

 

Josh Trent  05:48

So most of us actually aren’t breathing, even though consciously we think we are. At its simplest form, breath is an e-brake. You remember those e-brakes on cars, where when you’re a kid, maybe a teenager, you’d pull the brake, and it would stop the car, and it would spin it out. That’s what breath does to your nervous system. 

 

Josh Trent  06:05

It does it very, very quickly. So what happens when you’re consciously using your breath to control or modulate your stress is that you’re actually doing something physically. You’re doing something energetically. The physical part of what you’re doing is that you’re diaphragmatically activating what’s called vagus nerve. 

 

Josh Trent  06:22

The vagus nerve or vagal toning. That’s different, because a lot of us think about toning our muscles in the gym, by doing a bicep curl, or by doing squats, or by doing exercises that burn. You get in your muscles. You get toned in your muscles. But when it comes to the breath, there’s two things going on. 

 

Josh Trent  06:40

There’s a nervous system adaptation, where actually your vagus nerve dovetails onto the back of the diaphragm that goes into the endocannabinoid system and into the enteric nervous system. It controls so many things, if you do a deep, full diaphragmatic belly breath, which we’ll do during this conversation. That’s the first thing it does is nervous. 

 

Josh Trent  06:59

The second thing that it does outside the nervous system, though, is that it actually pushes the stem of the vagus nerve that is connected to the amygdala, which is the fear center of the brain. It starts to shift us physically, so that we’re getting less blood flow, less cortisol. We’re not in fight or flight. We’re out of the sympathetic side of the nervous system. We’re physically moving ourselves to peace and relaxation, and digestion. 

 

Josh Trent  07:24

So at its core, it’s the simplest and most powerful and only singular lever that we can pull in our nervous system that’s automatic. We can tune our stress to be actually at peace, and we can’t do one more thing. We can’t digest our food faster. We can’t make our blood flow faster. We can’t make our skin grow faster. 

 

Josh Trent  07:44

There’s all these things that our body just does, because it innately has that wisdom, right? Well, breath is beautiful, because it’s the only voluntary and involuntary lever that we can be in harmony with and communion with when it comes to our stress.

 

Misty Williams  07:58

Yeah, I love what you’re saying here about the vagus tone or parasympathetic tone. I remember having an interview about a year and a half ago with Dr. Marnie Gerbil, where she talked about the parasympathetic nervous system. 

 

Misty Williams  08:15

I had at that point, kind of thought of it as a thought of the parasympathetic is something you transition into from the sympathetic nervous system. And the way that I was facilitating the conversation had that implication of like, okay!, we’re going to basically turn off one thing to be in another.

 

Misty Williams  08:33

She corrected me, she said, “We’re not just talking about something you turn on and off like a switch. We’re talking about something that you build strength and resilience into, so that you’re able to access it a lot easier.” When you’re in that space of the parasympathetic nervous system, you’re in it in a stronger, more powerful way. 

 

Misty Williams  08:57

You can liken it just as you did to being in the gym, and building muscle tone. Where you’re lifting, and you’re actually making your body stronger. We’re actually making our parasympathetic nervous system stronger, in a similar way. 

 

Misty Williams  09:11

I found that distinction to be super helpful, because otherwise, I don’t know if I would have really appreciated building strength in this side. I kind of understood it as we’re either in parasympathetic or sympathetic, right?. And there’s actually a whole lot more to this conversation, which is really fascinating.

 

Josh Trent  09:31

Yeah, it’s more like the tide in the ocean. The tide takes time to change from neap to spring. So you don’t go to the ocean and all of a sudden, bam!, the tide shifts, it takes time. 

 

Josh Trent  09:42

We have the same kind of energetic tides in our nervous system with sympathetic and parasympathetic. And I would say that, yes, it builds strength, but really, underneath that what it’s actually doing is it’s building resiliency and it’s building activation. So it’s activating certain afferent and efferent signaling molecules or dendrites, or however you want to describe them.

 

Josh Trent  10:03

These molecules actually receive a message from the motor neurons, and then they send it back to the brain. And when they send it back to the brain, that’s also part of that feedback loop, that is really part of the hypothalamus. And everything else is going on with our amygdala in the stress system itself. So yeah, it’s strengthening. 

 

Josh Trent  10:22

But now that I hear you reflect that, to me, it’s strengthening, but it’s more like just activating. It’s activating things that may be asleep, that are conditioned to be asleep. That’s a deeper conversation when we look at society at large.

 

Misty Williams  10:33

Yeah, yeah. Well, resilience has been a really hot topic, the last year. I’ve seen a lot of events on resilience. I’ve heard lots of conversations. Conversations about resilience, because our ability to be resilient in the face of adversity. Especially when you’re on a really challenging health journey. 

 

Misty Williams  10:50

Resilience is key, because you have to keep going and you have to keep searching. You find that there’s a lot of changes that you have to make, and it requires resilience to do that. If you don’t have a strong parasympathetic nervous system, then resilience can be really hard to come by. 

 

Misty Williams  11:06

So take us deeper into this, I would love for you just to explain that maybe some of the strategies that we can use to induce more parasympathetic tone, I would love to just do some actual breathing together so that people leave this conversation feeling really empowered around this topic.

 

Josh Trent  11:25

Yeah, the first thing we can start with is our posture. The next one is our musculature. And then the next one is our actual practice itself> the breath practice itself. So for posture, most of us are, right now, I’m in a really cool chair. I’m in this chair, it’s called a lotus chair. So I actually have a pad in front of my stomach, and I’m sitting in lotus a position, and my spine, my head, my shoulders are all in line with my hips. Not everybody has this chair. 

 

Josh Trent  11:54

So the very first thing that most of us need to do actually, is roll our shoulders back and take a deep breath. Right, because most of us are forward flexed or like this. And it’s because of our cell phone and our cars. And all the things that we’ve heard before, you and I are in this world of health, and we hear a lot of the same things over and over and over again. But are we doing them? That’s the really big go to market here, are we actually doing them. 

 

Josh Trent  12:22

So the first thing you have to do is stop being so forward flexed. Forward flex means that your shoulders are basically in front of your ears, you want to pull your shoulders at or behind your ears, that’s a big one. 

 

Josh Trent  12:33

The next one is you want to have your body straight. So you’ll have your spine, your hips and your head on a line. And actually, everyone imagine right now, wherever you are, imagine there’s a string in the very center of your head and the top of your head, and that string is pulling you up to the ceiling. 

 

Josh Trent  12:49

It would look and feel almost like just a slight tug, you’re lifting your head up, you’re creating a little bit of length in your neck. And that’s the best place to start. Now, if you’re laying down, it’s happening for you. Right, what Seth and I did and what a lot of students do is we’ll just lay on the ground with some pillows, because then you’re completely relaxed, right, your shoulders are back because gravity is pulling you back. 

 

Josh Trent  13:08

So the key here is we start with posture, there’s in these three phases. We start with posture, you do not want to be forward flexed, you want to be open, you want to be neutral, so neutral. The next is actually where you’re breathing. Most of us breathe through our scalenes, our sternocleidomastoid. And right basically here and our clavicle is we don’t want to do that. And Dr. Bliss of Ranch, one of my teachers, he talks about horizontal breathing versus vertical breathing, right? We are meant to be horizontal breathers, that means we breathe in and out, not up and down. 

 

Josh Trent  13:38

But we have been trained really by stress and by our parents Misty, that we just need to breathe like this. And we see it with Wim Hof. And we see with all these cathartic techniques, and that’s cool. And I’m sure we’ll talk about the different phases of breath work later. But breath work does not mean that you’re breathing up and down. breathwork means that you’re breathing in and out. That’s the one really clear distinction I want to make. So that’s the second thing. 

 

Josh Trent  14:02

The third thing is our actual style or a practicum of the breath work. And so what we’re going to do right now is I’m just going to take one hand, I’m gonna put my left hand on my heart, and we can all do it together. If you’re driving in a car, obviously, don’t do this because you need to pay attention to the wheel. Right hands on your stomach, right hands on your stomach, left hands on your heart. 

 

Josh Trent  14:21

I want everybody to just pull your shoulders back, sit up nice and straight or you can do this laying on the ground. Close your eyes and I want you to imagine you have just had a complete bath of relaxation, your eyes are relaxed, your jaw is relaxed. I want you to roll your jaw a few times in each direction. So three times to the left. Roll your jaw, relax your jaw. switch directions. 

 

Josh Trent  14:44

Now open and close your mouth a few times we hold a lot of tension in our jaw, maybe a yawn. I just get fully in your body. And when you breathe in through your nose, I want you to fill a balloon behind your belly button. So you’re gonna breathe thier nose, you’re gonna fill a balloon behind your belly button. Hold right there.

 

Josh Trent  15:07

Did you notice that you breathe into the balloon behind your belly button or did you notice that you breathe in your shoulders went up, let it go out of your mouth. Feel that right hand push your stomach closer to your spine, all the air is exiting the balloons do two more together. So you’re gonna breathe in through your nose, fill the balloon behind your belly in through your nose, fill the balloon behind your belly. Hold.

 

Josh Trent  15:32

See if you’re really having a mind muscle connection with your hand on your belly. Let it go to your mouth. Let’s do it one more time. And I really want everyone to focus on keeping your shoulders down. So breathe in through your nose, fill the balloon behind your belly. Let it go. So you’ll notice just for those three breaths that we did six is the sweet spot. 

 

Josh Trent  15:58

We’re obviously just priming the system and we can get into a deeper practice. But what we’re doing is we’re just priming the system so that you’re actually breathing where nature intended you to breathe. And that is the balloon, the imaginary balloon that’s behind your belly. And so with this, you’ll notice Misty, I don’t know if you notice personally, or maybe people with us right now felt like wow, I noticed that I actually breathe up instead of out. Did you feel you  breathe out? Or did you feel you breathe up? Which one felt more true for you? 

 

Misty Williams  16:26

Oh, like I was breathing both actually. 

 

Josh Trent  16:28

Okay, kind of but that’s cool. So you’re a mixed breather? Yeah, nothing wrong with that everything

 

Misty Williams  16:31

Going to the second time I was trying to be more intentional about breathing. 

 

Josh Trent  16:34

Yes. So what I would do if we are in your house right now, and obviously we can’t do this here in this interview. But I would have you lay on the ground, I would place a little sandbag on your belly. And I would cue you to breathe in through your nose and your belly would rise. 

 

Josh Trent  16:47

So in through your nose, belly rises in through your nose, belly rises, the balloon fills, exhale through your mouth, your belly collapses to the spine and the balloon empties. So that’s the really big piece that everyone needs to get. I don’t care who you are, how old you are, or your athletic ability. None of that matters. 

 

Josh Trent  17:06

All that matters is that you start queuing what’s called circular conscious breathing. Inhale through your nose, belly rises, exhale through your mouth, belly goes to spine. That’s it. You’re done. You don’t even have to listen to me anymore. 

 

Josh Trent  17:19

No, no, listen to me more, because there’s really good stuff to come. But that’s the base, right? We talked about our posture, we talked about the way that our muscles actually activate. 

 

Josh Trent  17:27

So we’re breathing in through our nose, our belly fills, we’re breathing out through our mouth, our belly empties. And then the last one is actually doing this for a specific purpose, right. So if you’re having an acute stressor, this is where we can talk about the three phases of breathwork. 

 

Josh Trent  17:40

If you have any acute stressor, you’re in a traffic accident, you’re fighting with your spouse, you’re about to go on a stage. Maybe you’re even in a psychedelic journey, whatever it is, you’re in an acute distress point, all of a sudden your stress went from 10% to 90% or 100%. 

 

Josh Trent  17:55

What do you do then with the art of the breath, that’s acute style breathing. That’s a very specific practice. Then there’s meditative breathing, meditative breathing is where you and I would sit. And we would do a seven to 12, maybe a 21 minute practice, that’s more meditative. And like you had your other expert who talks about this. That’s where you train your parasympathetic to be more strong and more resilient over time. Those are those longer, more meditation style or proactive style breathing. 

 

Josh Trent  18:21

And then there’s the final phase of breath, which has become the most popular but honestly, the most abused. And that is catharsis breathing, catharsis. Breathing is where you go 30-60 90 minutes where you’re doing Stan Grof or Wim Hof, or a very, very deep breathing journey. 

 

Josh Trent  18:37

I don’t recommend people go into that. I think people should start with the acute and the meditative. So that’s basically it with our posture, our style, our musculature, making sure we’re straight and making sure we’re breathing properly. We talked about the vertical and the horizontal, that’s the building blocks of the breath.

 

Misty Williams  18:53

Yeah. So I’m really into human design. I don’t know if you’re familiar with human design, Josh? If not, I

 

Josh Trent  18:59

Just had a reading recently with Barbara or someone else. No, not Barbara with someone else.

 

Misty Williams  19:03

Yeah. So I love human design. So beyond the scope of this conversation, unless you know about human design, basically I am emotionally defined and my partner is not. Okay. So that means that I’m on the wave. And when we are having a very intense conversation, my wave tends to go like my intensity goes up, up, up, up up, and floods his nervous system. He’s taking everything that I’m feeling and because he’s not in the way, he’s actually magnifying all of it. 

 

Misty Williams  19:34

So my fiery Leo is like overwhelming him. And one of the things that he has been guided to do when he’s feeling this fire is to breathe. Because what he will do is he’ll actually stop breathing. So this is an acute stress response. I am stressing him out. And he is breathing good. It’s really shallow, and it gets really constricted and he pulls in. And it is very unproductive for both of us. 

 

Misty Williams  20:07

So  I want to just offer that frame for those of you who may have found yourself, or someone who finds themselves in those situations where, there’s some kind of intense event happening like a bite or intense conversation with your spouse ever, you’d find that, I think going into some tools for what we can do in those moments, which are really valuable.

 

Josh Trent  20:32

Let’s do that. And I’ll tell you this, the greatest tool that you have is repetition. And I’ll say that and the subconscious, or maybe our novelty seeking brain won’t like it, or novelty seeking brains are going to be like, What do you mean, I’ll just practice? No, that’s it. I mean, you literally just have to practice. So what happens is when we select, let’s do an example, let’s say that for right now, I’ll be your partner and you can be you. 

 

Josh Trent  20:55

You might be the wave, he might be the island, you might be the anxious he might be the avoidant, however you want to describe it, there’s a lot of different frameworks of how we describe human psychology and how we relate to one another. 

 

Josh Trent  21:06

Basically, one energy is going outward and one energy is going inward. So how do we make it so that there’s less of a teeter totter where one person feels stressed? And the other person feels stressed? How do we equalize that the very first thing that we do is we vocalize it, this is the big one. 

 

Josh Trent  21:25

And this is what I’ve been practicing in my relationship to is like, okay, share what you’re feeling. And this is really big, a great resource for everyone here is called non violent communication, nonviolent communication. Very, very powerful movement started about 30-40 years ago. 

 

Josh Trent  21:41

In nonviolent communication, what you and I would do is like, let’s say you came to me, and you’re like, let’s say, for example, you’re pissed off that I didn’t take out the trash that you would say to me, Josh, I can’t believe you to take out the trash is like the fifth time. 

 

Josh Trent  21:53

And so I would have to literally, I would have to go like this. Take a breath in through my nose from my belly and breathe like an animal because we’re animals. Animals don’t breathe up and down, animals breathe out, in and I would let it go. That’s the first thing I would have to remind myself and train myself over time. 

 

Josh Trent  22:10

When you bring me that stimulus, when you bring me that stress, I would have to remind myself, just like I train in the gym, with biceps, I would have to train with you in a relationship. And I would say, I need to take a breath, or I need to give me a moment or hold on to something.

 

Josh Trent  22:25

You need an auditory cue, right? Because you are coming out the person and you’re like, I need something, I’m upset about something, you want to receive something. So I would pause and I would say I need to take a breath. And if I didn’t have time to even do that, I would just breathe without permission. 

 

Josh Trent  22:40

Then I would say, what I’m experiencing right now is, I would say to you, “I’m experiencing a tightness in my chest, I’m experiencing shame, I’m experiencing guilt. I definitely want to take out the trash and I apologize for missing that, or whatever it is, right? Or hey, the reason I didn’t take out the trash is because I had a call come through and honestly slipped my mind I care about you. I understand the trash is a big deal to you.” 

 

Josh Trent  23:07

That is a very high level of emotional intelligence, to the degree that we have processed our lowercase trauma, or our capital Trauma. Or if we have any interstitial tension from health issues that we’re having, if someone has more that someone has chronic stress that they really have never gotten a handle on or if they’re taking in too much caffeine, or if they have food sensitivities, I mean, Misty, this whole series, right? 

 

Josh Trent  23:30

There’s so many things that are running unconsciously or in the background, that cause people to be shifted over to that sympathetic and when I’m in sympathetic, and I’m not aware of it. And I’m not aware of my environment, and I’m not aware of the ways that the trauma I’ve experienced in my life actually is what makes me project and have less patience with my partner. It’s very difficult to do the exercise that I did with you now, which is to take a breath to verbalize in a non violent way. 

 

Josh Trent  23:57

“Hey!, this is what I’m experiencing. I’m feeling shame. I’m feeling this. I’m feeling fill in the blank because there’s more breath there. Like it’s tattooed on my arm for a reason it’s supposed to spit out a piece of shade today. And what that means in Italian is if I can breathe, I can choose so if I can breathe if I can.

 

Josh Trent  24:18

I totally forgot to take out the trash. I did but it makes me feel a lot of shame when this situation happens. It makes me feel a lot of shame. Makes me feel like some extra stress that I’m really having a hard time being at peace with here. I understand where you’re coming from and it makes me feel like this.” 

 

Josh Trent  24:37

Now the unconscious way to do that would be you come at me again and you go you didn’t take out the trash. “Oh my God, will you take out the trash? I’m busy.”

 

Josh Trent  24:47

That could be a traditional non evolved, not emotionally intelligent and no breath awareness type response. That’s a violent response. And what happens with couples and I’ve dealt with this myself is you go From one ping pong to the other, and before you know it, there’s insults and there’s things that are being said that are completely from the ancient brain, and from our child’s self, that have nothing to do with the loving adult, the responsible adult that’s inside of us. 

 

Josh Trent  25:13

And it’s because number one, we didn’t physiologically move ourselves to be an adult. So we didn’t take a breath, we didn’t have the awareness, take a breath. Number two is we actually just went into the same kind of channel that’s been grooved in our brain, from childhood to adolescence to the relationship we’re in now. And we just went with it. Because neurons that fire together, they close and wire together. 

 

Josh Trent  25:34

And so the same messages that are going back and forth to my body, to my brain I talked about earlier with the afferent and efferent currents, if I can train myself to be aware of that when I receive a current from my body, that’s fear. That’s shame. That’s grief, whatever it is, then instead of my mind being in control, and my mind saying, well shout at your partner and tell them they’re a jerk, that’s the opposite of what we want to do. 

 

Josh Trent  26:00

The first thing we want to do is to have somatic awareness, want to be awake, aware of what’s happening in my body, when you and I in this, quote, example, are having an argument. And what’s happening in my body is my breath goes away, my stomach tensions, maybe my posture changes, just be aware of all that first, and then shout it out to your partner.

 

Josh Trent  26:21

“Hey!, I noticed my posture change, I noticed my breath is gone, I noticed I’m feeling this shitty way. I’m gonna take a breath right now.” That is the number one thing to do. Here’s why it’s so hard. And I studied this for a long time. 

 

Josh Trent  26:35

The reason it’s so hard is because we have been conditioned since we came into the world, by our parents, siblings, grandparents, society, job, everything, everything in our world is constantly screaming at us to stay the same, to not grow, to not change, to not evolve to be more confrontational and less loving and less we have a conversation like this. 

 

Josh Trent  26:56

In this interview, where we’re interested in something different, where we’re going to use the art of the breath, to cue into with somatically going on with our body because the body knows way before the mind does. 

 

Josh Trent  27:07

The body knows way before the mind is. The mind’s job is literally to give and receive information and to keep us safe. That’s the mind’s job, right? It keeps us safe. And it gives and receives information. That’s it. It’s kind of a great servant, but it’s a really lousy master. So we need the body to talk to the mind. 

 

Josh Trent  27:24

The only way we can talk to the mind by being in the body is through the bridge of the breath. That’s it. Because we take it away, the bridge is gone. There’s no bridge between somatic and psychological. Yeah,

 

Misty Williams  27:37

One of the things that’s coming up for me as I’m listening to you explain all of this is how easy it is for me to access the part of myself that knows what I’m feeling. I’m feeling shame. I’m a female, first of all, and I think it’s just easier for women to know their feelings. And I’ve just been doing this work forever. So it’s very easy for me. But Roderick, my partner, it is not so easy for him. 

 

Misty Williams  28:04

And I know that there’s plenty of people watching who are like, I could take a breath. And then what am I feeling? How do I access that part of myself, it’s kind of a foreign concept because they’ve kind of been in a reactive state for so long, and maybe it hasn’t. 

 

Misty Williams  28:20

In Rodricks case, it was never safe for him to have feelings and to have an emotional response to anything. So he dealt with his childhood trauma by being apathetic. I don’t care, basically just shutting everything off. I’m just shutting down the whole power grid. Right. 

 

Misty Williams  28:37

So I’d love for you to speak to that because I know there’s people who are watching who are in that same situation of  getting present to like what I’m feeling in my body. I’ve never done this before in my life.

 

Josh Trent  28:49

Yeah, the god men have the four horsemen, which is powerful. And I’m gonna mess it up a little bit. But one of them is stonewalling. Right? When you Stonewall, or when you shut down, it’s actually one of the four determinants of what makes relationships fail is number one. Number one is stonewalling. Another is contempt. 

 

Josh Trent  29:08

But the stonewalling aspect is really, really sad. Because if you think about it, the only tool the person has is to Stonewall and icy cold shut down, to keep themselves safe. Because at the core of that way of being what it is, they want to keep themselves safe, right? 

 

Josh Trent  29:25

They learned that either in early childhood or adolescence or somewhere, that when they’re getting bombarded on when they’re getting attacked; when they’re getting shouted at; when their boundaries are being broken; and not respected as a child or an adolescent or a teenager or young adult. It’s such a sad yet potent, powerful strategy that’s really hard to unwind, because it does give them what they’re desiring and that is safety. 

 

Josh Trent  29:48

And so if someone feels safe by stonewalling to unwind that as an adult is a lot of work, it takes patience, it takes courage, and it takes really feeling all the feelings that we’ve not wanted to feel I read this somewhere once maybe it was in Bessel Vander Kolk work the Body Keeps the Score wasn’t or might have been impeded Levine’s work waking the Tiger I forgot where I read it, but somebody’s going to get to know exactly where it was. 

 

Josh Trent  30:10

Every single animal in the world remembers every attack, every blade of grass, every field they’ve been on. And we do too. We’ve just become so desensitized to our subconscious memory. Because a lot of those memories are really scary. And the conscious brain perceives it as threat memory, the brain, it sends and receives information and it keeps us safe. That’s his number one job, our conscious brain is not there for you to unwind your relationship with your father. That’s not its frickin job. 

 

Josh Trent  30:38

But that’s what needs to be done. So that we can stop projecting all of our stuff on our partners. And so there’s two, there’s two prongs to this. What has to happen is there has to be an open conversation about the dyad, about the style of attachment that’s been created. 

 

Josh Trent  30:55

When I first got with Carrie there, I was the anxious and she was the avoidant. And now that’s unwinding, right? It’s unwinding, and it’s flourishing into something else. But there has to be some deep deep work on that. Because when I can reflect on my childhood, my strategy wasn’t to shut down. My strategy was to go in, when I went in, I could fix it, I could talk about it, I could make it right, I could, I could help mom, I could help dad, I could do whatever, so that I would feel okay. 

 

Josh Trent  31:21

But isn’t that interesting, because one’s not worse than the other one’s not better than the other. Whether I go in or whether I go out, whether I shut down or whether I open up, none of them are right or wrong. They’re just a piece of their way of being that’s keeping us separate from ourselves and from the other person. 

 

Josh Trent  31:39

So the way you do that is you have the conversation with the person, you go into an altered state with the person altered state meaning not in your crazy child mind, not in your reactive mind, where you’re projecting your stuff onto them. The breath is a great tool. microdosing is a great tool, being in nature as a great tool, playing as a great tool.

 

Josh Trent  31:58

Novelty is a great tool, there’s so many tools that you can do. But you have to do them with your partner, not separately. And you do them separately for your own growth. But when it comes to this type of interaction, you have to deal with your partner. And then in that altered state, you share openly like, “Hey!, I know that what I’m about to share with you may bring up some emotions, or maybe uncomfortable talk about and I just want you to know how your being is okay, you’re safe to shut down if you need to. But I really require more. And I want to connect with you on a deeper level, I want to connect with you on a deeper level, or I want to love you more, something like that.”

 

Josh Trent  32:34

You can’t make that person different. All you can do is open up the door. But actually on a subconscious level. If you try to change your partner, they’ll resist you. And they won’t know why they’re doing it. It’s because you’re trying to change them. All you can do with nonviolent communication, all you can do is you can share from the eye. I feel this way. I want more love. I want to care for you. I want to express. 

 

Josh Trent  32:58

And also the third caveat that I’ll say is that when you are expressing to your partner, and you’re using your breath, and you’re breathing horizontally, not vertically, and you’re in your body, and you’re speaking from the heart, there’s just something magical that happens. I know this sounds like Whoo!. And that’s cool. Because like everything is spiritual. 

 

Josh Trent  33:01

But when you’re speaking from the heart, and when you’re in your body, and when you’re breathing, your partner is going to feel that from you. And there’s not going to be as much of a charge. Because the pattern that gets created with anxious avoidant is the avoidant feels powerful when they shut down. And the anxious feels powerful when they go in. But they’re both really unhealthy. Actually, neither one of them is healthy. 

 

Josh Trent  33:39

What’s most healthiest secure attachment and secure attachment comes by unwinding the anxious and the avoidant or the island and the wave. So that’s really the beginning of that conversation. It’s a lot more deep. But that’s the start of it.

 

Misty Williams  33:52

Yeah. All right. Well teach us strategies, what can we do with breath?

 

Josh Trent  33:59

Well, the first thing that we do is we tell the person, hey, I’m feeling this way. Let’s do some breathing together, or I’m going to do some breathing, you first ask for permission. And then when you get the permission, then you go to a space where you lay on the ground together, or you sit across from each other. 

 

Josh Trent  34:16

I actually have this really cool spray that I’ve been using from Dr. John Neurons, it’s called the Mito Zen spray. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. It’s a really good one. So it’s oxytocin and hoppy. I do a little spray and that grounds me. And then what I’ll do is I’ll alternate nostril breathing, or I’ll do conscious connected breathing with my partner. 

 

Josh Trent  34:36

The conscious connected breathing is where we sit across from each other. And we’re actually mirroring our breath. So you and I can do that right now. I’ll put my hand on my heart, put my hand on my stomach, and I’m going to inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth. 

 

Josh Trent  34:48

But every single time that I do that, I’m going to look right here at your third eye, I’m actually going to look in the space between your eyebrows. So inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Inhale through your nose a little deeper and exhale through your mouth for four seconds. Inhale nose for two. Last one I’m going to hold here for 10 seconds. 

 

Josh Trent  35:43

And in this place of stillness where you’re not breathing, and I’m not breathing, I’m just looking at your eyes, all the little micro muscles in your face start to relax, all the arguments and the anger start to lessen. Because you’re cueing yourself to an anchor, you’re cueing yourself to that 10 second hold. And then in one second, we’re gonna go out and breathe in through our nose. So go out and breathe in through your nose. Hold this for 10 seconds. 

 

Josh Trent  36:11

So here you’re feeling your heartbeat, you’re feeling maybe some of your anger, you’re feeling the heat of the moment, with your partner. Just keep holding this and just be at peace with this. And then when you exhale and a couple of seconds, feel into what they’re feeling. It’s returned to normal breathing. So I’m staring right between your eyes, I’m looking at your eyes. I’m doing six of those circular breaths to inhale for exhale. And then I’m holding for 10 while I’m taking a breath, then I’m holding for 10, then I’m breathing out. 

 

Josh Trent  36:50

That is the anchor that we need. Because when we’re angry, we’re upset. It’s kind of silly, don’t you agree? Misty, it’s kind of silly for us to keep going on, on the merry go round. And try to figure out who’s right and who’s wrong. Just stop it. Take the six breaths, do the 10 second hold, do the 10 second hold, go back to normal breathing, then respond to your partner. So 610 and 10. To inhale for exhale. That’s the best practice any of us could ever do. There’s other practices as well. But that’s a really good one to start.

 

Misty Williams  37:24

Yeah, I love that. I love simple. Let’s keep it simple so that people actually apply and don’t get overwhelmed. So that’s fantastic. So yeah, yes, yeah. So you talked about cultivating through habit, the breath. And I would imagine that there’s different practices for the moment that you’re in that fight or flight like are and the moments you’re just you know, I’m spending 20 minutes this morning, meditating, let me add some breath work in here to really build my tone.

 

Josh Trent  37:56

It’s a really good one because I love the two part breath. The two part breath is really good for meditative breathing. Because like, for example, let’s say someone is dealing with depression. And I’ve dealt with that my life depression is a focus on the past or rumination on the past. So when I’m experiencing depression, I’m really in the opposite of expression. 

 

Josh Trent  38:16

Isn’t that cool that the breath makes us breathe, and we breathe through it. So we can express how we’re feeling physically. If we do the breath, when a child cries, or when human beings cry. You notice most of the time they go like this. Right? It’s two part kind of. So we can mimic that in the two part breath like this. So you’re doing your meditation, maybe you’ve done two or four minutes or five minutes, depending on how much relaxation you need of circular breathing of what you and I just did, the two inhale the four exhale. 

 

Josh Trent  38:45

And then you get to a point where you really want to access some hurt, or you really want to access some grief or you really want to access some sadness, you want to get that depression out, you want to express the depression, the best way to do that is through a two part breath. 

 

Josh Trent  38:59

And so two part breath is you’re going to inhale quickly, twice through the nose, and it’ll look and feel just like this. So short, first long seconds, so short long. You do that for a minute, maybe two minutes straight to prep breath. First, small second longer. So short poll, long pull, one, two, exhale, one to exhale. And if you’ve given yourself enough spaciousness to do it, you’re probably going to cry. 

 

Josh Trent  39:36

I’ve made myself cry like that before. It’s really healthy for you actually. Because tears and grief and sadness or whatever you’re feeling it really just wants to come out anyways. So we may as well mimic the crying response. Right? And crying by the way is beautiful because I used to think especially as a man, I’m like, if you cry, you’re weak. That was a big thing when I was growing up. 

 

Josh Trent  39:56

And then in my 20s when I was a personal trainer, I’d have cry. I have Clients cry in their sessions with me and I always go home, I’d be like, Why the hell are these people crying in a training session, like what is going on. And it wasn’t until my mid 30s, where I made the connection, I was like, oh my god, Misty, they’re crying because their gloves allowing themselves to breathe. Working out, training, lifting weights isn’t just about the physical, it’s about the emotional as well. 

 

Josh Trent  40:22

So when we mimic that cry response, we give our nervous system a way to off gas, or to let go of some of the pressure that it’s been holding on to. So that’s a really big one, the two part breath with the short pole, long pole and the in the smooth exhale, for a minute to two minutes, that can induce a cry response.

 

Misty Williams  40:39

One of the things that’s coming up for me, as you’re talking about that is a conversation that I had with a friend talking about trauma. And he was explaining that in the wild, when animals experience trauma, their bodies often shake and vibrate, the trauma moves through them, and they, they allow it and then they’re able to move on. 

 

Misty Williams  40:59

And that trauma doesn’t get stored in their body like it does for us, because we’re clamping down, we are holding our breath, we’re holding things in. And we don’t allow things really to move through us. And I’ve certainly had times I remember one time doing hope, pono pono. And I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. For those of you that aren’t familiar with oponopono. 

 

Misty Williams  41:24

I remember feeling I was going through a breakup and I was just really emotional and overwhelmed by everything. When I did help when I remember, I was actually feeling kind of numb, I was at that point of just feeling them. And I started saying I’m sorry, please forgive me. Thank you, I love you. And I was taking deep breaths as I was saying it. And I started bawling. I mean just sobs racking my whole body as I just let all of the emotion and the feeling move through me. 

 

Misty Williams  41:52

I remember in the moment thinking what am I crying about? Because it was so much bigger than what I perceived to be.Whatever I was experiencing through this breakup, it was almost like this exorcism of grief. And it was really powerful for me at that moment. And I think we all need strategies for digging in and giving us the opportunity to process what’s trapped inside. 

 

Misty Williams  42:17

Because we, if you’ve been on this earth for 20-30, 40-50 years, you’ve experienced trauma and overwhelm, and we have stuck trapped inside of our bodies. And we need a strategy for moving that energy. So that we can really heal.

 

Josh Trent  42:33

Yeah, think of the body as if it’s almost like a public library. Except for you’re the only one has the card. Your body’s like this library. And there’s all these volumes of things that have happened. And you know them on some kind of a subconscious level. This is why earlier I was talking about every animal that’s ever been in a field. Why do you think butterflies nowhere to fly? 

 

Josh Trent  42:53

Why do you think that certain animals know to avoid certain places, it’s because they store it in their primitive brain the same way it’s stored in yours and mine. But the thing is we live in a world that is not the world you and I live in. But we live in a world that the majority of people in society, if you show emotion other than confidence, or anger or frustration, then you’re somehow weak, being soft, or letting emotions move through you is is in the tightest turning on this right with this interview and with the work that we’re doing. 

 

Josh Trent  43:26

But what’s happening is we live in a society that just reinforces the stuck emotions. Because there’s a pill, there’s fast food, there’s alcohol, there’s drugs, there’s there’s like, literally, there’s a litany of distraction devices, weapons of mass distraction, that pull you and I away from our breath that pull us away from feeling these things and essentially, pull us away from shaking it off. Right? 

 

Josh Trent  43:50

Because to shake it off would then make you seem vulnerable to society, to where it even bothered you in the first place. And so it’s okay to shake it off, it’s okay to show that things have bothered you or that you’re sad or whatever it is. Because why why? Why would it even matter if we were successful, or if we have all the trappings of society, if we weren’t feeling good in our bodies, or if we weren’t feeling good about ourselves? 

 

Josh Trent  44:14

I mean, I’ve had that journey come to me all the time in my life. I’m in a phase of that journey now. And being a dad and like, the learning curve of letting the old life die and letting the new life come in. And the business is going to be this way now. And then letting the podcast burn down and then creating a new one. It’s placed like, I just think it keeps going. And I think we have to just keep feeling and keep expressing it all through the breath and through our emotional being.

 

Misty Williams  44:41

Yeah. All right, well take us into some daily practices with breath.

 

Josh Trent  44:46

So the best daily practice we can do is I actually do right here in the studio. I have a seated little stool where I put my knees below my hips, that’s the best one. You put your knees below your hips. If you’re doing it. I would actually recommend that you don’t do it standing. So you’re either kneeling or sitting, or you’re on a meditation cushion or whatnot. And what you’re gonna do is you’re going to do the two minutes of circular breathing like you and I did. Two minutes straight, have two inhale four exhale for two minutes. 

 

Josh Trent  45:14

And then after that, I want you to hold for as long as you can. So you’ve been getting this rich oxygen in right, you’ve been breathing in for two seconds, you’ve been exhaling for four seconds, after you do it for two minutes, just hold, maybe you can hold for 30 seconds, maybe you can hold for 60 seconds, maybe you can hold for 90 seconds. There’s no ego on this. It’s whatever you can do. And then when you go back to the two and four, so another two minutes of the to inhale, the four exhale, and then one last round of holding. And then after that, I promise you, your body will feel different. 

 

Josh Trent  45:45

That is the most potent practice that any of us could do. It’s a discipline Misty to really for two minutes to breathe in for two seconds and out for four, and then do your hold. And then breathe back in for two and now for another two minutes and another hold. That can be very challenging for certain people. 

 

Josh Trent  46:03

This is why in the brief program, we train people how to do this, with posture with videos that 1000s of students across the world do because sometimes we just need a little help, we just need a little helping hand to do it. Otherwise, we’d have to just do like an hour class where I would take you through a bunch of practices and that would be it. It would just be all practices. So that’s the best place to start right in your morning when your mind is probably the most open and most susceptible to your environment. And you can do it at nighttime too. 

 

Josh Trent  46:34

There’s a different practice for night, I can share with the nighttime practices too. But that morning practice is great. It’s deep, it’s proactive, it’s meditative. Two rounds of the two, four with two holds 3060 90 seconds each and then go back to your own breathing. That’s the best way to start your day. And it is probably going to be about five to seven minutes honestly, for that type of practice is very, very short, but very, very potent practice, the nighttime practice is different. 

 

Josh Trent  47:00

The nighttime practice, you’re going to want to do more of a box style breathing. So the box style breathing is meant for grounding. The circular breathing is meant for energy or exploration right or expression, if you will. That’s why when clients are depressed, we do circular breathing. When clients have anxiety, we do box breathing. And it’s a really key distinction. 

 

Josh Trent  47:21

So at nighttime, you would do two minutes of box breathing. Box breathing is you breathe in for five through your nose, you hold for five, you exhale for five out of your mouth. And then you hold for five at the bottom. And you just continue to do that. Inhale for five you draw box, hold, exhale, five, hold, inhale, hold, exhale, hold. That’s it. And then you do the same thing where at the end of that you just give yourself a 30 60/92 hold. And all that does is just cue you to be at peace with whatever stress that you have. 

 

Josh Trent  47:50

The only reason we do breath hold retention is so that we can be at peace with what we’re actually feeling. So we can actually connect somatically with what we’re feeling. And then after that you would do the exact same practice again and then do another hold for 30 60 90 seconds. And that would again take you about five to seven minutes. So anyone can do this. It’s circular in the morning and box at night. Or if you need it, maybe you’re feeling anxious in the morning. Maybe you do box in the morning. And circular at night. It just depends on whatever you need.

 

Misty Williams  48:21

I would love it if we could do some box breathing together to give everyone the opportunity to get this in their body. Yes, you experience it. And I’ve been practicing box breathing. I love it. It is very, it’s very grounding. Yes,

 

Josh Trent  48:37

It is the best. Here, I’m holding up a little square right here. Okay, so this is basically what we’re going to do, we’re going to breathe like a box. So first cue your posture, put your hands on your belly, you can do it eyes open, our eyes closed. I’m gonna do it with my eyes closed. I’m going to inhale through my nose for five, hold for five. exhale through your mouth for five, hold for five. Inhale through your nose for five. Hold for five. Exhale for five hold for five. 

 

Josh Trent  49:31

Last one we’re going to do two counts so inhale for two, hold for two, exhale for two, hold for two. So you can see we can mix up the practice we can do five seconds if we really need to ground. We can do two seconds if we just need to queue ourselves to get back on planet earth or feel like we need some kind of an anchor or pole position. But the longer you do, like if you were to do a 10 second And that would actually slow you down to the degree that you’re increasing the length of your box. That’s how much it’s going to slow down your mind or slow down your nervous system.

 

Misty Williams  50:12

Yeah, really powerful. Well, thank you so much for sharing us your Jedi secrets around breath. I hope everyone will really take seriously the opportunity that you have to do a simple, simple practice that is hugely important for your parasympathetic nervous system for parasympathetic tone. But ultimately, what does that mean, for us, it means healing. 

 

Misty Williams  50:33

And it’s my desire that we don’t just go through an event like this and hear a lot of great strategies and stories, but we actually get some tools where we can integrate some things into our lives that support us and being able to heal. 

 

Misty Williams  50:49

One of the things that breathwork is also really great for. I just want to share this, I may have mentioned it in another interview. But in 2011, when I had two surgeries back to back first surgery was to remove a cyst from my left ovary, they found endometriosis, when they opened me up, they removed my ovary along with the cyst and spent two hours surgery, removing scar tissue from my abdomen, stitched up part of my small intestine on the way out, which is not part of the procedure, sent me home, 

 

Misty Williams  51:17

I was able to get a hold of a doctor for six days, finally, was told to go to the emergency room, saw what they had done, we’ll leave that for another surgery, and sent me home. And I didn’t sleep for six days. And I don’t know if you’ve ever gone through a period of prolonged wakefulness, but it was torture. Yeah, I didn’t doze off. I didn’t have bad sleep. I was literally awake for over 144 hours and felt like I was just coming unraveled. 

 

Misty Williams  51:46

And I remember calling a friend who has a toolbox of Jedi tricks. And I didn’t even give him a lot of information. I just told him I’m not sleeping. And it’s been six days and I was weepy and emotional. I mean, you get to that point, and you’re like coming unraveled. And he gave me breathwork. He told me to breathe. And I wish I remembered actually what he gave me. If there was a rhythm to it, I’m pretty sure there was because it seems like I remember counting. 

 

Misty Williams  52:14

But I remember to get hanging up the phone with him and going and sitting on the floor. And just breathing. And I did it for 20 or 30 minutes. And I felt myself start to doze off. And I stood up from the floor was the middle of the day. I stood up, went over to my bed, I lay down. And I fell asleep for the first time in six days. And I think, Wow, what a fight looking back. 

 

Misty Williams  52:38

What if I hadn’t got that strategy for calming down my sympathetic nervous system? I mean, it was, it wasn’t a long time. It’s not like I did breath work throughout the day, for the whole day. It was about three minutes. And I was actually able to sleep. So it is profound, what breathwork does for our nervous system. And these are tools that all of us need to have if we’re really serious about healing.

 

Josh Trent  53:03

Yeah, it’s beautiful. You said that. And you know, there is one more thing I can share too. And Dr. Andrew Weil made this really popular, but I’m sure that he got it from Leonard or who was like the man that really brought breath to the west coast to America. And it’s a 478. So 478 is designed for sleep. And that might have been what your friend gave you. 

 

Misty Williams  53:24

Yeah, 

 

Josh Trent  53:25

Because what happens is when you really when you prolong your exhale, you’re yes, you’re cueing the relaxation response. But you’re also you’re turning down the volume. And we didn’t go too deep into this of your default mode network. 

 

Josh Trent  53:40

Your default mode network is whatever is scanning or ruminating in the past or scanning for danger in the future is the thing that pulls you out of flow that pulls you out of present moment that pulls you out of relaxation. So if you were to go for seconds in through your nose, hold for seven seconds. Exhale for eight seconds and go back to your 478. That’ll get you sleepy, excuse the relaxation response on a much deeper level because you’re extending your exhale. 

 

Josh Trent  54:18

You’re also holding on the seventh, you’re coming to terms with whatever stress you’re feeling whenever we do the breath, hold retentions to actually process and feel whatever stress we’re feeling. And then the four is just to get in a nice, smooth, clean flow of oxygen. So 478 is a really good tool for sleep. And that’s for all of us. 

 

Josh Trent  54:37

And this is the thing like I’ll tell you, most of the people that have either worked with me or that are in the breathe program, like they just love doing the box and the circular breathing every day. If you can just master the box and the circular breathing and just do a seven minute to a 21 minute practice on the daily. Over time. These things are just going to set in the myelin sheaths going to groove. You’re gonna have transformation over the course of time three weeks, two months, something very close to that.

 

Misty Williams  55:08

Yeah. Well, this has been really powerful. Awesome. I love that I was able to get you for this event. This was kind of a Hail Mary, we’re getting close to the finish line. Oh my god, I have to have Josh, come and talk to us about breathwork. So this was really fantastic. Josh, thank you so much for not only sharing with us but doing some demonstrations. I hope everyone got a lot of value out of actually doing the breath work.

 

Josh Trent  55:31

Yes, you’re welcome. Breathe like an animal y’all, breathe like an animal. Breathe out, don’t breathe up. 

 

Misty Williams  55:38

Mm hmm. This is one of those videos that you might want to watch. Again and again. Because being guided in these practices in the beginning is really, really helpful. Helps really get it anchored into your body gives you some confidence when you’re doing something new for the first time. So, Josh, if people are interested in learning more about you and your work and your breathe program, where can they find you online?

 

Josh Trent  56:02

Just go to breathwork.io It came to me when I was on a psychedelic journey. So you’ll have to go listen to my podcast, the Wellness Wisdom Podcast if you want to learn about that. That’s a joshtrent.com. You can go joshtrent.com for everything. But breathwork.io is for the breathe program. And that’s where y’all can learn a lot more depth and a lot more practicum about what we talked about today. So thanks, Misty.

 

Misty Williams  56:25

Yeah, this is fantastic. Well, thanks, everyone for spending a little time with us today.

 

Misty Williams  56:30

We’ll see you soon. That’s it for this week’s episode. Thank you for listening. I hope you’re feeling more empowered to overcome your flabby foggy and fatigued and to reclaim your life. If you haven’t subscribed yet, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button right now so you don’t miss any of our episodes. We have some awesome shows coming right up. I love reading your reviews and comments too. They inspire me and encourage other Rosie’s to hang out with us and learn all these amazing strategies for healing and living our best lives. Till next time sister. Bye

 

Josh Trent  56:58

bye

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About Misty Williams
& Healing Rosie

Misty Williams spent years struggling to reclaim her health and vitality after surgery to remove an ovarian cyst, life-threatening complications and an endometriosis diagnosis sent her into a brain fog and fatigue tailspin.
Her doctor told her that the only remedies for her issues were drugs and surgeries, that her labs were “normal” and she could “google” to learn more about what was happening to her body.
At 35 years old, Misty embarked on the fight for her quality of life, enduring many more challenges on her road to healing, including an unexplained 45-lb weight gain, debilitating brain fog, fatigue, hypothyroidism, and premature ovarian failure.

She founded HealingRosie.com to provide high-performing women with the resources an community to successfully confront the unexpected chronic health issues that women often experienced as they age.

What to do when it’s overwhelming to heal

How to manifest healing when things become overwhelming - Jason Prall
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What to do when it’s overwhelming to heal

With brain fog and fatigue being my new reality, I was terrified I would get so sick I couldn’t work. 

When my flabby, foggy and fatigued symptoms started appearing, changing my lifestyle and paying for labs + supplements + practitioners was not in my budget.

It was intimidating to consider the investment that I would need to make to get my life back…

On top of that, I lacked “people” resources. I couldn’t find doctors in Nashville who practised outside the conventional medicine framework. It was maddening.

I felt overwhelmed. It was a challenge to find my power to step up and go all-in on retaining my quality of life. 

So I did what I’ve learned to do when reality seems overwhelming.

I went on an inward journey and decided that not only did I need things to be different…

I chose to KEEP THE FAITH that I could change the landscape of my life one decision, one step at a time. 

And one of the biggest a-has my journey has given me was around my own relationship with being supported by other people.

Like … that wasn’t a thing. I didn’t need support from other people, right?


Wow, was my vulnerability around needing others to support me confronting.  I was awkward and stiff around this realization for a couple of years, honestly.

Needing the Universe to support me, needing to figure out how to financially manifest the resources I needed … It was all a POWERFUL part of my journey to transformation.  

Over time, I started to manifest and receive the support I needed:

  • financial resources to invest in my healing
  • doctors and practitioners who were on board with helping me GO DEEP so I could figure out was really making me sick
  • a loving partner who lightens my load and gives me the support I need
  • Jedi tricks and strategies for healing that few have uncovered
  • Amazing friends who hold a safe space for me to be real and honest and completely vulnerable … this has been probably the greatest gift of them all

The resources you need can be so much more accessible. You can manifest more abundance in your life!

In this interview with my friend Jason Prall, we unpack how you can begin opening yourself to receiving the amazing support you need to help you heal your body and your soul!

timestamps

4:19
Where the realities we weave inside our heads come from

7:09
How to invite infinite possibilities around money to execute your healing

8:05
How to unlock the power of the mind and direct your healing through meditation and visualization

13:19
Practical ways envisioning can manifest into a reality that you may not have noticed

15:53
How to recognize and tap the abundant resources available to you when it feels like you’re lacking

19:26
Why are some people more inclined to receive the resources they need and how can you unlock the abundance around you too

23:35
How childhood conditioning makes it difficult to reach out for help

27:25
Why most women aren’t comfortable expressing their needs and asking for help and support

28:58
Why you could fear scarcity and how your body could manifest your longing to hold on to resources

32:11
How to leverage self-awareness and compassionate curiosity to realign your receiving energy

35:39
The importance of recognizing the different parts of yourself and 2 tools that you can utilize to figure yourself out

41:30
How to integrate the different parts of yourself to work as one and help you realize your health goals

42:22
How to navigate the changes in your relationship dynamics when you start asking for reciprocity

44:43
Where and how to begin operating in flow and ease and making abundance your reality

47:57
Why does it feel like everything is difficult when you’re upgrading into a higher sense of being

49:15
How you can process the pain, challenge and fear of shedding your beliefs without shoving them aside and bypassing emotions

52:23
How to manage parts of yourself that are triggered by your experiences so that they do not take over your mindset

resources mentioned

Internal Family Systems model

transcript

 

Misty Williams  00:01

Hey, sister, this is Misty Williams, founder of healing rosie.com. And I’m so excited to welcome you to Rosie radio, tune in to find clarity, direction and hope for your healing. New episodes drop every Tuesday, we created this show to empower you to regain control of your life and feel like yourself again. Yes, sister, it is possible. 

 

Misty Williams  00:21

You guys, I have been so excited about this awesome conversation I’m going to have with Jason Prall. 

 

Misty Williams  00:27

If you have tuned in to any of the summits or master classes that I’ve done, you know that we always have most epic conversations. 

 

Misty Williams  00:33

And I was having dinner with a friend last week, who just discovered that her daughter who I believe is around 13 is slightly autistic. 

 

Misty Williams  00:43

And there was so much regret and shame that my friend was feeling on how she had parented in light of this new lens that she has now for her daughter’s experience. 

 

Misty Williams  00:53

And it had me thinking about how all of us are, especially when you when you have a belief that that something is wrong with you something is wrong with your body. 

 

Misty Williams  01:03

It doesn’t work for you like it seems to work for other people, right? You have a diagnosis, perhaps, maybe you’ve gone to a doctor, and you’ve heard your labs are normal, and everything’s fine. 

 

Misty Williams  01:12

And it’s really just mess with your head because you’re like, I don’t feel normal. I don’t feel like everything is fine. How do you navigate your healing? through the lens of all this noise? 

 

Misty Williams  01:23

I started asking myself this last year, because I was so frustrated with the weight loss resistance that I was experiencing.

 

Misty Williams  01:28

This was before I got the mold diagnosis and that was obviously a big part of why I was kind of spinning in place. But I started really getting present for myself too. I mean, this is not my identity. 

 

Misty Williams  01:42

My experience in this reality is not my destiny, and how do I lift myself above, so that I can see clearly and chart a path forward to create what I really want for my life. 

 

Misty Williams  01:53

And I know there’s so many women in our community who are feeling the very same thing, you’re dealing with these.

 

Misty Williams  01:59

Especially when it goes on for years and years, you start kind of feeling stuck in the soup of of symptoms and diagnoses and all of the things you have to do to accommodate this reality. 

 

Misty Williams  02:08

We’re going to peel back the layers on this onion with Jason today. And I’m so excited. I really can’t wait for us to dig in. 

 

Misty Williams  02:15

So Jason Prall is a health educator practitioner, author, speaker and filmmaker in 2018 in independent research and experience led him to create the human longevity project, a nine part film series that uncovers the true nature of chronic disease in our modern world. 

 

Misty Williams  02:27

He’s currently finishing his first book on longevity, as well as his next film series explores ancient methods of healing mind, body and soul from indigenous cultures around the world. 

 

Misty Williams  02:35

So excited. You’re here, Jason!

 

Jason Prall  02:36

Thanks for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here. 

 

Misty Williams  02:38

Well, we just kind of did a big setup here. You and I were talking before we started recording about the individual work that we do, trying to navigate this space and terrain, you know, wanting to get clear on what’s happening. 

 

Misty Williams  02:50

And like, I needed to get clear that it was toxic mold for me and a few these other things so that I could actually take some steps to eradicate it. 

 

Misty Williams  02:57

But it gets it can get really hard and tiring when you’ve been on this journey for a while. And especially if you’ve experienced spinning up your wheels, which most of us do, you know, at some point to, to think in ways that are going to actually help us get through it. 

 

Misty Williams  03:10

One of the things that comes up for me that I hear from people is here’s what here’s all the things that are making me sick. Here’s the here’s all the ways I’ve struggled. And now I can’t get well because I can’t afford it. 

 

Misty Williams  03:22

I don’t have the money, the resources aren’t there, right? Going through the trauma of this kind of sickness has you taking on these beliefs about who you are and your condition that can really keep you stuck. 

 

Misty Williams  03:32

And I would love for us to just dig into this a little bit. You are giving me chills before we started recording? 

 

Jason Prall  03:37

Yeah, it’s a it’s a big topic, right? Because whenever we’re faced with some diagnosis, some set of symptoms, some challenge whether it’s even with our health or elsewise, we’re creating these narratives.

 

Jason Prall  03:48

We’re getting these stories about what it means, what it looks like, how long it’s going to take, how much money is going to take all these things, right.

 

Jason Prall  03:56

 And so it’s really interesting, because we’re very rarely do any of us actually deal with what is. And rather, we’re dealing with the stories that we’re creating in our mind, right? 

 

Jason Prall  04:05

And this is not something to be critical about. But rather just to observe, you know, what are the stories that I’m telling myself? Are these cheap and true? Where are these coming from? Right? 

 

Jason Prall  04:15

And a lot of the time, these stories, these narratives, these beliefs that we’re creating come from our conditioning from our childhood, from a place of ignorance from a place of fear, right? 

 

Jason Prall  04:24

Because it’s uncertain, we don’t know what to do, right? 

 

Jason Prall  04:26

And so when we don’t know what to do, we become scared because we have no path forward. Oftentimes, the mind just goes crazy, right? And it just starts to run loose. 

 

Jason Prall  04:34

And so it’s just an opportunity to really look at what the beliefs are. What are the stories that are being told? 

 

Jason Prall  04:40

And if we have enough awareness, we can actually track our bodies, we can actually feel what it feels like inside. 

 

Jason Prall  04:47

What does it feel like and do it what does this fear feel like? Does it feel jittery and shaky and does it feel cold? Can I even feel my body? What’s going on? 

 

Jason Prall  04:54

So I think this is with a little bit of awareness. We can just pause and get curious about what’s happening.

 

Jason Prall  05:00

As I sit here and think about my situation, and then this can fluctuate from day to day. So it’s not a static type of environment that we find ourselves in. 

 

Jason Prall  05:07

But I think, day to day, this is what we continuously are living with. We’re living with these beliefs, living with the conditioning, living with the thoughts and the ideas and the energetics. 

 

Jason Prall  05:16

And that’s really what’s governing our physiology. It’s what’s governing, even the thoughts. So sometimes even the feelings and government thoughts, right. 

 

Jason Prall  05:22

So if we can, we can slow down, we can pause, we can feel into ourselves, we can just kind of analyze what’s going on. 

 

Jason Prall  05:31

And that will at least give us a starting point, a baseline for what’s true, and perhaps what might be going on from that sort of story perspective, right. 

 

Jason Prall  05:37

And again, those stories and those ideas, those beliefs are generally created from a younger version of ourselves, the four year old version of ourselves, the six year old, the nine year old, right? 

 

Jason Prall  05:46

Because they’re coming from that conditioning, they’re coming from ignorance. And so I think just with that perspective, it starts to open up potentially some possibilities, right? 

 

Jason Prall  05:55

Because so often we can get merged, we get so merged with our experience, that we can’t entertain a perspective, we can’t entertain an idea, right? 

 

Jason Prall  06:03

If we think about business, or any other endeavor, right, we want to give ourselves the opportunity for something new to enter a new idea, a new way out, right? 

 

Jason Prall  06:11

If we’re caught in a box, and we can’t figure out how to get to this business struggle that we’re in, right, we need to give ourselves a space to allow these new things to come in. 

 

Jason Prall  06:18

Same thing with our health. And oftentimes, we may not even know exactly what step is necessary next. But if we can leave the door open for for that next step to enter, then that’s a greater possibility. 

 

Jason Prall  06:29

But if we stay closed off, if we stay merged with our experience, afraid, unsure, running these stories, in our mind, I don’t have enough money, it’s going to cost a lot of money. 

 

Jason Prall  06:38

It takes a long time, I don’t have the time. I’m too old. I’m too young. I mean, there’s a million stories that we can run in our mind and beliefs.

 

Jason Prall  06:45

 If we’re stuck and merged, and we’re caught in that too much, then then we’re really not allowing for these new ideas, these new possibilities to enter. 

 

Jason Prall  06:52

And from a more spiritual perspective, that’s really what we want, we want to invite in the infinite possibility that something can come up come come to us, right. 

 

Jason Prall  06:59

I’ve worked with a lot of people in this space, who find themselves in pretty tight situations where they don’t have money. 

 

Jason Prall  07:06

And we may even have a path forward, but they don’t have the money to be able to execute that. 

 

Jason Prall  07:11

But if we can actually work on the belief that about money, about finances, about wealth, and what it is and where it comes from, and how easy it is to acquire, then those new possibilities can can emerge. 

 

Jason Prall  07:22

And I’ve seen that happen, somebody with very little financial stability, and not a lot of money coming in. If you want to call it manifestation, I don’t know whatever you want to call it. 

 

Jason Prall  07:31

It’s not a word I use too often. But I think people know what I mean, when I say manifestation. It can happen. 

 

Jason Prall  07:36

$20,000 can come in, in a matter of a day. And without any idea of where it’s coming from. And it sounds fantastical, perhaps to some people, and it still does to me, but I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it happen many times over. 

 

Jason Prall  07:47

So I think that’s the first step that whenever we find ourselves overwhelmed in confusion, in fear, kind of merged with these experiences merged with a part of ourselves merged with that fear, giving ourselves a little bit of space, a little bit of curiosity and starting to open up to the new possibilities is an unbelievable first step. 

 

Misty Williams  08:03

So what’s coming up to me, as I’m listening to you, kind of unpack all of this, for us is an experience that I had, maybe four or five years ago, I read, Joe Dispenza is breaking the habit of being yourself, which is an excellent book. 

 

Misty Williams  08:16

One of the things he talks about in the book that I found so powerful and liberating, and actually I’m saying this to you, I’m like, I need to read this book again, just to transport me back to that space is you don’t, the power of the mind is that you don’t have to know the how.  

 

Misty Williams  08:35

You just need to see the what, like be in the possibility of what it is that you want to create. And I remember the first time I sat down to actually put into practice some of his perspective on meditation.  

 

Misty Williams  08:50

What is it that I really want, for my life in the next six months or a year, I actually do this for all sorts of things in my life. 

 

Misty Williams  08:56

One of the things that Roderick and I are talking about now is getting land and building the home that we really, really want to be in really for the rest of our lives, you know,

 

Misty Williams  09:05

And I’m the investigator type that wants to figure out. How are we going to make all this happen? What are all the steps and I could feel myself getting really bogged down.

 

Misty Williams  09:12

Similarly to how we get when we start, like, and I and now I have this diagnosis, how am I going to figure out how to unravel this? And I stopped in that moment. 

 

Misty Williams  09:21

I went over to my kitchen, I sat down and I just started breathing in and thinking about what I wanted this to be. 

 

Misty Williams  09:27

And it’s it’s a really great energy mover, I find it to be really practical and you know, you’re able to apply it to a lot of areas of your life.  

 

Misty Williams  09:34

Its  just like when I think about my body and my health. I have looked into the future last year as I was really struggling with all this mold stuff looked into the future and envisioned the weight cutting off effortlessly.  

 

Misty Williams  09:45

Getting my mind and my brain functioning like it should and I didn’t know how I was going to create that. Especially when I’ve had all these experiences of trying to get that weight off and it’s just it’s not letting go right. 

 

Misty Williams  09:58

How am I going to create that? when I just held it in mind, I could see myself there and it, it began opening me. And I think this is what we all need, as we’re navigating.

 

Misty Williams  10:07

We need to be able to be in the possibility and being the openness, that something, something good is going to come from this. And as it turned out, that weight dropped off of me in six weeks, I can’t even believe it. 

 

Misty Williams  10:18

I did a cleanse for 21 days, and lost 10 pounds. And the next few weeks, I did nothing. And I did not get on the scale again. And I just went back to my normal eating, which is healthy, but it’s, it’s not obsessive. 

 

Misty Williams  10:30

I got on the scale, and I lost the other eight pounds three weeks later, like it was I can’t believe how fast it was. Totally didn’t expect that to have that experience, right. 

 

Misty Williams  10:37

But it’s just, there’s something so powerful about being able to extract ourselves from the prison of this is the reality.

 

Misty Williams  10:44

I’m experiencing right here and move into a place of here’s what I want it to be like, and I’m going to see this and believe this and hold on to this possibility. 

 

Jason Prall  10:52

Yeah, I think it’s hard to, to comprehend how much of an illusion we’re living in, right. And we all feel so real looks so real, and our mind makes it real. 

 

Jason Prall  11:01

And this is what’s interesting about the mind, right? It is so powerful. And so what we believe about ourselves, what we see when we look in the mirror, how even how other people’s view us impacts how we view ourselves, right? 

 

Jason Prall  11:10

So we are moment by moment, creating the reality that we’re experiencing. Right. So that’s, that’s unbelievably powerful. If you if you just sit with that moment, by moment, we are recreating this reality. 

 

Jason Prall  11:21

And so that means that we can either keep ourselves locked in on this one timeline, so to speak on this one path, and this one reality that I’m experiencing, or I can use my mind to create an entirely different level of reality.  

 

Jason Prall  11:31

I can shift the timeline so to speak, I can think ahead, I can view myself I can, I can envision what it’s like to be healthy, to be happy, to be whole and integrated, to be fully embodied, to be to have plenty of abundance of food and money and anything in relationships, right? 

 

Jason Prall  11:47

I can visualize that, I can even feel it in my body. Right. So we’re using the power of the mind. And we’re also using the power of awareness itself. 

 

Jason Prall  11:55

And so when we are able to use our awareness, we can localize it, we can expand it, we can it goes in and out of time, like it is the quantum, if you will. 

 

Jason Prall  12:09

And so this awareness is tracking on this and we can use awareness and and our mind to create that new reality. Right. And so that’s that’s kind of what I mean is that we get merged in this, this illusion that we call reality.

 

Jason Prall  12:22

And just by unmerging a little bit, we can start to use the mind use our awareness and create a new level of reality. A

 

Jason Prall  12:26

nd that can that can open up possibilities that that our limited mind, our little small mind can’t fathom, right? 

 

Jason Prall  12:33

And this is the shortcoming of planning, right.  I mean that that’s been a big pattern of mine is to use the mind as a resource to get me out of trouble and get me out of danger and fear and all the things that I’m experiencing. 

 

Jason Prall  12:45

It’s using my mind to analyze things to solve problems to plan ahead, right. And that serves a valuable function. And it is extremely limited to what is possible, right. 

 

Jason Prall  12:54

So if we just kind of if we allow ourselves to drop that a little bit, use the mind to, to open up to possibility, use our awareness to envision and find and track the reality that we ultimately want to experience. 

 

Jason Prall  13:08

Believe it or not, You can experience that in the moment, we can actually create that experience, moment by moment. And that will create a new reality, right?  

 

Jason Prall  13:16

So this sort of manifestation or this, this idea of creating this new reality, can look like spontaneous remission, things just naturally resolving themselves. 

 

Jason Prall  13:26

It can look like finding the solution on your own, that you didn’t know is there, it can look like finding the person that’s going to help you find the solution, right?  

 

Jason Prall  13:33

There’s a million ways that it can unfold. And so part of it is is envisioning and tracking that that ultimate result, and allowing the process to this play out as it may, right. 

 

Jason Prall  13:44

So it’s constantly reminding ourselves that that’s a possibility. And the more that we can condition ourselves to sort of be in that reality, to experience that reality, to visualize that reality, to feel into that reality in our body, the more likely it is to come to fruition. 

 

Jason Prall  13:58

And along the way, what’s really interesting is that all the things that we’re experiencing right now that we may not like that are that are uncomfortable, that are causing us problems, there’s actually clues, they’re actually there to help guide us to help give us information. 

 

Jason Prall  14:12

And so all along the way, we can actually use those as a way to awaken to a greater truth to a deeper level of reality to a more whole version of ourselves. 

 

Jason Prall  14:21

And so there’s so much opportunity, once we become unmerged, once we open ourselves up, provide a little bit of awareness on the body, a little bit of awareness on the beliefs on the mind, on the mindset. 

 

Jason Prall  14:31

And just start looking at these things, right viewing these things. Hopefully, without judgment, although the critical nature of ourselves, there’s always a an inner critic that’s probably going to be present along the way. 

 

Jason Prall  14:41

But if we can learn to sort of accept that inner critic and put him aside or her aside for a little bit, and start viewing these things for non judgmental, non critical perspective, then we can start understanding ourselves better. 

 

Jason Prall  14:50

This is sort of the self reflection that really can guide us along the way. If we combine that with an embodied perspective feeling into the body tracking the body feeling into the sensations, the emotions, all the things going on in the body, there’s so much information there that will reveal itself. When we put awareness on those things.

 

Misty Williams  15:07

I want to talk a little bit about a specific belief. And and let’s just explore some tools or way of being with that that can help people create some shifts, and the belief that’s coming up for me.

 

Misty Williams  15:19

Because I hear it in our community, people respond to my emails, and they’ll say it is I don’t have the resources. I don’t have the money. 

 

Misty Williams  15:26

I’m on a fixed income. Maybe they’ve only gotten Medicare, maybe they’re on disability. Maybe they’re family has resources.  But they’ve got children who are maybe, one is in high school, maybe they’ve got to in college. 

 

Misty Williams  15:41

And so it just seems like the resources aren’t there. How do we again, how do we begin to unpack the, the resistance around “I don’t have the resources?”

 

Jason Prall  15:52

Yeah, I think first, it’s to acknowledge that they’re on some level, that’s true. Right now, I don’t have the resources right, available to me, right. 

 

Jason Prall  15:59

And so we can acknowledge that there’s, there’s an element of truth to that. However, it is not the full truth, right, there’s a  greater truth that we can visualize, right?

 

Jason Prall  16:08

And so one aspect of that is, for some, for many people, myself included, we didn’t really learn how to receive very well. So in other words, the resources may be abundant and everywhere. 

 

Jason Prall  16:18

And yet, for whatever reason, and I may even be able to see them sometimes. I haven’t learned very well how to receive it, how to take it in. 

 

Jason Prall  16:26

And so a good example of this, is that sort of, it’s a very minor example, but I think many people can identify with this, when somebody gives you a compliment, you kind of shy away and kind of duck and dodge the compliment.

 

Jason Prall  16:35

Get a little embarrassed by the compliment, and, and I’ve turned it down, or do you fully accept it, right? That’s an element of receiving that sort of this feminine nature of opening ourselves up and receiving what’s coming in, right? 

 

Jason Prall  16:44

A compliment is a very, very small gift. It’s a very small gift, right? If we aren’t able to fully take in that small gift that someone’s giving us. 

 

Jason Prall  16:53

If we feel weird by it, then that’s an indication that there’s  element that we can work on that we have an ability to, an opportunity to improve. 

 

Jason Prall  17:02

So this idea of receiving is different than going out and trying to get right. There’s been so many times where I’ve been asking for help and, and looking for help and going. 

 

Jason Prall  17:12

In other words, I’m trying to find the resources and they’re not coming to me. And that has to do with my energy. It’s not that they’re not there. It’s not that nobody wants to help me, it’s that my energy is just a little bit off. Right. 

 

Jason Prall  17:23

And this is very difficult to explain. But there’s, there’s elements of conditioning of what we might call trauma of missed experiences in our childhood, where we didn’t get these things, reflected back, we weren’t shown these things.

 

Jason Prall  17:33

If nobody’s shown you the color purple, then you know, I can explain purple all day, and you’re not going to understand what purple is, you have to be able to see it right?

 

Jason Prall  17:40

 So if you’ve never seen purple, that’s a missed experience. And until you see purple, we’re not gonna get anywhere. But once you see it, then you understand what that is, right? 

 

Jason Prall  17:49

The same thing goes with some of these energetic qualities that we usually gain from our parents or our caregivers, they essentially reflect, they transmit energetically, through a lot of different mean socially. 

 

Jason Prall  18:01

And we pick up on the steps, right, especially as we’re young beings, we are totally open to receiving all this information from our environment, right, we are energetically open. 

 

Jason Prall  18:10

So when we have those missed experiences, when we have these traumas, when we have these conditionings, another conditioning might be that I mean, that’s a strong one, right? 

 

Jason Prall  18:17

The fact that resources are hard to come by, they are not abundant, right? And that may be overtly said to you, when you’re a child for 10 years, 15 years running. 

 

Jason Prall  18:25

Or may be sort of subverted kind of hidden in the language and in the tone and in the way, your parents or caregivers or your teachers, or your coaches, or whomever might be expressing, right? 

 

Jason Prall  18:35

So we pick up on all this stuff. And so that might be a belief that I carry with me, energetically and in the mind that resources are difficult, they’re tough to come by. And when they’re available, I don’t even really deserve them. Right? 

 

Jason Prall  18:46

So there’s so much going on there that would prevent me from being able to recognize, realize, and ultimately accept the resources that are around me. 

 

Jason Prall  18:54

So again, there’s probably who’d listen to this and think I’m full of crap, right? And that’s an indication that your conditioning or the reality that you’ve experienced, which is proving that I’m full of crap, right. So that’s the thing. So your experience may be, so that what I’m saying doesn’t make any sense. 

 

Jason Prall  19:13

There’s others that have no problem finding resources. People are always coming to them with exactly the resources they need, right? I haven’t been one of those people in my life. 

 

Jason Prall  19:23

As I’ve done more and more work with regard to energetics, resolving some of these missed experiences, some of these traumas, these beliefs, these conditionings that I was raised with, then the reality has begun to shift for me, and just enough to where I can say what I’m saying. 

 

Jason Prall  19:39

I believe in this, I understand it, because I’ve experienced it just enough and enough to where it’s become a major focus for me to continue to work some of these parts in these pieces in myself so that the abundant resources that are all around me will be even more abundant. Right? 

 

Jason Prall  19:54

So this is the thing like life itself is unbelievably, there is nothing more abundant than the In life, right? It is everywhere we have so much resource around us there is no shortage of resource of prana, of energy, of chi, of life itself.

 

Jason Prall  20:10

And so how do we cultivate that, right? So we can actually, and things like Qigong will actually teach us how to cultivate resource, how to cultivate this chi, this life resource. 

 

Jason Prall  20:19

Yoga and Ayurveda, also have some techniques that teach us how to cultivate this energy, right. So when we are able to cultivate this energy, when we are working on our receiving muscles, when we learn how to get rid of some of this old conditioning and these beliefs that we carry with us that are simply blocking us off from receiving, then life starts to just give to us. 

 

Jason Prall  20:41

And it’s unbelievable where these things come from, again, the mind is, it’s very difficult for the conditioned mind to understand how it’s possible that all these resources become available. 

 

Jason Prall  20:48

But if you know some of your friends, perhaps they might call themselves amazing manifesters or whatever. But things just happen. 

 

Jason Prall  20:53

I’ve met shamans, indigenous healers, where they can literally just generate things, like, it’s unbelievable the resource they need, right? 

 

Jason Prall  20:59

Whether it’s the ability to travel across countries, even though they didn’t have the right passport, and the right thing, and blah, blah, they make it happen, like things just naturally fall into place for them, right. 

 

Jason Prall  21:08

So there’s, there’s really, really amazing ability to do this. And so it’s something that can be practiced. It’s something that can be sort of unconditioned and recondition. But I think that’s what I would say is that it’s very specific for each individual. 

 

Jason Prall  21:20

A lot of times it’s difficulty receiving,  a lot of times it’s in the beliefs, it’s in the conditioned mind, that is literally preventing from those resources from showing up. 

 

Jason Prall  21:28

A lot of times we can be trying to go get the resources. But again, the energy is off so we’re unable to actually acquire them, so to speak. And some people don’t do anything, they’ll meditate. And all of a sudden things will just naturally unfold for them. 

 

Jason Prall  21:40

And I know these people, they’re very good friends of mine. And I learned from them. They’re teachers, because for me, because they do such an unbelievable job, my conditioning is to do more, right?

 

Jason Prall  21:49

If I don’t have what I need, go do more, figure out a more efficient way, figure out solutions. 

 

Jason Prall  21:52

That’s my sort of old conditioned method. The more effective way is to sit, meditate, if you will pray, however you want to say it. 

 

Jason Prall  22:00

But basically, sit into your alignment, work on your energetics allow trust, open up, right, and let things come to you. 

 

Jason Prall  22:08

So there’s a different level of reality we can play with. And again, this may be difficult for some of us, it certainly has been difficult for me in my life, it’s getting easier. 

 

Jason Prall  22:16

But as we learn to play in that new reality, it doesn’t have to be hard. These resources are everywhere and always available.

 

Misty Williams  22:22

I got chills when you said people don’t receive well, because it’s kind of been the story of probably the last 20 years of my life spiritually. First of all, even seeing that I didn’t receive well.  

 

Jason Prall  22:31

It’s very difficult, right? 

 

Misty Williams  22:32

I did not realize that was probably even a thing for me until I was around 35. Like, if you would have said something about receiving before, I would have completely missed it. 

 

Misty Williams  22:41

But my journey started in 35. And I had the experience of being in the hospital after a second surgery to fix the first surgery, they stitched up part of my small intestines. And so I wasn’t keeping down food or water. So I had to fix that. 

 

Misty Williams  22:51

But I was in the hospital, and I needed a ride home. This is before Uber. And I had not told a single friend. Nobody knew that I had I mean I’ve been by this time. 

 

Misty Williams  23:03

I’ve been through so much trauma, with the first surgery not keeping that food or water for six days going into the hospital, I was admitted for three days. 

 

Misty Williams  23:09

None of my friends knew and it made me so uncomfortable to reach out to anyone that knew me to ask for a ride home from the hospital, which of course any of my friends would have been like, yeah, of course. Misty, well pick you at the hospital and take you home.

 

Jason Prall  23:21

But let’s honor that. So what you were experiencing is very real, like in the body, in the mind, and the emotions is very difficult. That’s a reach, right? 

 

Jason Prall  23:29

So what you were doing right there is a reach. So when do we experience that in development.

 

Jason Prall  23:33

That’s around, you know, six months, a year, a year and a half the child is constantly reaching, reaching from arm reaching for Dad, whatever, right? And this child reaches, that’s what we do, we literally reach up and out. 

 

Jason Prall  23:42

And so when we’re met, consistently, reliably, with exactly what we need, then that reach becomes secure. And we become very confident that when I reach I met, there’s somebody there that’s gonna meet my needs.  

 

Jason Prall  23:52

When that’s not met, whether it’s the crying out method, Night when baby’s sleeping, whether it’s single mom raising two kids or three kids, right, and they can’t meet all the needs, right? 

 

Jason Prall  24:01

There’s a lot of reasons that loving, amazing parents won’t get that won’t meet the needs of the child consistently. 

 

Jason Prall  24:07

So that reach becomes inconsistent. And then we don’t rely on it, right. And so we’ll reach sometimes, but not really, but then we eventually some kids that aren’t or the met at all. 

 

Jason Prall  24:15

They won’t even reach, they just won’t reach. And so we literally carry that energy, that whole dynamic gets brought into adulthood, and you’re displaying it perfectly. 

 

Jason Prall  24:24

I have the same thing many of us do is very, very common. And so what’s seems so obvious like you reaching out to your friends for a ride, and you knew then in your mind that they would say yes. 

 

Jason Prall  24:35

And then it’s not a problem that you know, now they would say it’s not a problem, and yet energetically, emotionally, there’s something in there. There’s a block that says this is scary. 

 

Misty Williams  24:43

I don’t want to reach out because internally I was so vulnerable at that time.

 

Jason Prall  24:47

Exactly, if it’s not met, then what does that mean, right? It’s dangerous. So this is a perfect example. And it’s something to be honored, right? Like there’s a little little girl in there that didn’t get her needs met. And so she’s terrified.

 

Misty Williams  24:58

 And that’s exactly what it was. In my case, it was a little T trauma, because of course, this was a decade ago. So I’ve done a lot of investigation into this. But, it was a little girl, I was the oldest of four. So my mom worked full time. 

 

Misty Williams  25:12

My father was very, he’s the embodied, back in those days, what we call toxic masculinity today, where everything at home was woman’s work, you know, he didn’t contribute much with the kids. 

 

Misty Williams  25:23

He didn’t earn consistently when I was younger. So you know, you can quit jobs really easily. And so my mom is, is caring everything she was working two and three jobs, taking care of us, right. 

 

Misty Williams  25:32

So you can imagine as her first born, how, once I just started displaying any ability to be a contribution, my role in the family was to contribute and to help support my mom and to take care of my siblings, and you know.  

 

Misty Williams  25:43

To adultify early. Very very early, and that’s, that’s, I think about, you know, I endured sexual abuse whenever I was a teenager, actually, even younger, and adolescent, and a lot of things that we would consider capital T traumas.

 

Misty Williams  25:54

And working through those and moving through those were way easier for me than the little T trauma because it was so subtle. I didn’t grow up feeling like I was being traumatized by helping my mom, right. 

 

Misty Williams  26:06

It was so subtle for me, that I remember in the hospital, having that experience and noticing what was happening, like, I am terrified to ask anyone for help, I couldn’t have articulated at that point, you know.  

 

Misty Williams  26:19

You do not create any space in your life whatsoever for people to be a contribution to you. That was I mean, my identity was I was able to give and be generous and support, you know. 

 

Misty Williams  26:30

Like it wasn’t on my radar then that I’ve created a life where everything flows out and nothing flows in. And it definitely did a number on my health. 

 

Misty Williams  26:39

But the thing for me to overcome and to work through wasn’t the symptoms and the sickness as much as my way of being.  

 

Misty Williams  26:46

The exact thing that you’re talking about here. Like, I lived in a world that didn’t really contribute to me, I had to contribute to it. 

 

Misty Williams  26:57

And then you can imagine when I start not being able to contribute in the same way that I used to be able to contribute the fear that that induced for me, right? 

 

Misty Williams  27:04

Like what’s going to become of me, I mean, it was really the perfect experience to spiritually break me open in the best of ways, right. 

 

Misty Williams  27:13

But it took a while to unpack and feel into all of that. And I know there, I’ve told this story to girlfriends, and I’ve seen the tears.

 

Misty Williams  27:19

I know that this is a very common thing for women especially is this struggle around being able to receive because of all sorts of little T and big T traumas that we experience over the course of our life, you know.  

 

Misty Williams  27:30

The fear around receiving and the vulnerability that we feel needing something from the universe, from God, from our families, from you know, somebody in society, or communities, you know, this is a very common thing. 

 

Misty Williams  27:46

And I love that you took the financial resource piece and connected it back to this because I actually think this receiving thing affects us on so so many different levels. 

 

Misty Williams  27:55

Because it is the opening to receiving that actually brings all of this stuff like even your comment of, you know, let things come to you. Like let things come to you before I was 35 years old. I didn’t wait for anything to come to me.

 

Jason Prall  28:09

Yeah, you go get it, right. 

 

Misty Williams  28:11

Everything good or bad? Right? 

 

Jason Prall  28:12

Well, that’s the message, right? That’s the message on Instagram. It’s, you know, it’s all these memes of go out and get it right, get up early work hard. Right. 

 

Jason Prall  28:20

And there’s nothing wrong with hard work hard work is great. That’s a good quality to have. And it’s also not required. 

 

Jason Prall  28:26

But it’s not people think that it’s a mandatory aspect to success or to achieving something that’s not the case. Right? 

 

Jason Prall  28:32

Commitment. Sure. Dedication? Sure. Like you got to be committed energetically dedicated energetically. Right? That’s different, right? 

 

Jason Prall  28:38

Working hard? I’d rather work smart. I’d rather work efficient, right? That’s, that’s a totally different thing. And ultimately, I’d love to just be aligned and allow things to come without any what we would might classify as work.

 

Jason Prall  28:48

But what we’re getting at here is this idea of receiving, it also ties into the healthy which is which is nourishing, right? 

 

Jason Prall  28:55

So, again, this is so fundamental at a developmental aspect of who we are. Perhaps we didn’t breastfeed properly, because maybe my tongue was tied, and I couldn’t latch on to mom’s nipple. 

 

Jason Prall  29:07

And therefore I couldn’t get the milk. Or maybe mom wasn’t able to, to, she didn’t have enough supply. Right? 

 

Jason Prall  29:12

Or for whatever reason, there’s a lot of different things right. I wasn’t able to she had to work. And so I wasn’t able to breastfeed. 

 

Jason Prall  29:17

This is an idea of when I’m sucking, when I’m reaching, when I’m wanting — am I met energetically, emotionally, physically with it with the milk or the food? 

 

Jason Prall  29:28

And if it’s not there, if it’s not consistent, then anytime I get a resource, I’m going to hold on to that resource and I’m not going to let it go because I can’t count on something being there in the future. 

 

Jason Prall  29:38

You’re starting to see like you don’t have this is an energetic thing that that we we get conditioned into that if I can’t count on a resource being available to me, whether it’s food or whether it’s love, then I’m going to hoard whatever I can get. 

 

Jason Prall  29:51

And I’m going to be constantly afraid that whenever I have or need my next meal, my next attention that it’s not going to be there. 

 

Jason Prall  29:59

So it’s this fear of lack, that something’s not going to be there. And then when I get it, I hold on to it. And this is what happens energetically in our bodies too. 

 

Jason Prall  30:07

So we can actually, or the shape of our body can actually start to reflect this.  We can actually hold on to a resource, right?

 

Jason Prall  30:14

 So women or men have trouble losing weight, that may be a component, I’m not saying this is everything. For certain people, it’s going to be a big piece of the pie. And for some people, it may be a small piece. 

 

Jason Prall  30:23

But this can be an element of that, that we’re actually holding on to energy reserves, for fear of letting go of a resource, because I don’t trust energetically, that something’s going to be there. 

 

Jason Prall  30:32

So what we’re talking about is something deeper than the cognitive mind, right? The cognitive adult mind understands that there is food out there available, right. 

 

Jason Prall  30:39

But the body, the energy systems, it’s a different thing. That’s a conditioned level of reality. 

 

Jason Prall  30:44

And so we can hold on to fat stores, we can hold on to it, when we eat food, we may not be able to properly digest and assimilate, we don’t, we actually don’t know how to take in nourishment very well. 

 

Jason Prall  30:55

So this can result in food sensitivities and digestive issues, right? This is very, very deep. What I’m pointing to here is something so fundamental that affects finances, relationships, right? 

 

Jason Prall  31:05

I don’t trust the love that’s there, I won’t let it in fully, or I’ll let it in fully, but I can’t fully accept it. Like there’s deep deep aspects here, where we can let it in. 

 

Jason Prall  31:14

But if anything goes wrong, then we start to create these walls, and we push it away. And we we get anxiety that it may not be there. 

 

Jason Prall  31:19

This has to do with our attachment system, what we call an attachment system in psychology. There’s so much here, right? 

 

Jason Prall  31:25

So the physical element of digesting food, and the way our body is shaped, the relationships, the finances, the wealth, the job resources, this is endless, right. 

 

Jason Prall  31:34

So it’s a really important aspect  to start to investigate within ourselves, to look at our childhood history, to start to feel into this resource piece with regard to money.

 

Jason Prall  31:44

That’s probably the easiest one money is the easiest one because there’s so much energetic charge with money. So we can look at that as a relationship. 

 

Jason Prall  31:50

And use that as a template for for many other things that have to do with with resource.

 

Misty Williams  31:55

So I’m thinking about the big aha, I started having, probably about eight years ago around my inability to receive and I want to share a couple of things that I think you’re just going to riff off. 

 

Misty Williams  32:06

Awesomely, I want people to, I want people to have a sense of where they can go exploring with this. 

 

Misty Williams  32:12

So when I first started seeing that I had a pattern of not letting people contribute to me, I started watching my interactions with others.

 

Misty Williams  32:21

I started noticing more where I was constantly trying to be the person with the solution or solve or give. 

 

Misty Williams  32:27

I started noticing how someone else’s unmet need would create a little bit of anxiety for me, and I would feel like I needed to fix it. 

 

Misty Williams  32:34

I just started getting more present to how this belief and pattern was playing out in my life. And I didn’t try to do anything to fix it. 

 

Misty Williams  32:43

At this time, I was just like, let me get to know myself through this lens. Like, let me I started having this whole new understanding of why I did the things that I did.

 

Misty Williams  32:54

Why I took the path in life that I took? I just I wanted to understand myself. I look back now and what I was doing that I didn’t have the language for is I wanted to start seeing me. 

 

Misty Williams  33:04

Because the truth was, in my reality, I didn’t see my I mean, for real 35 When things started, everything kind of collapsed in on me right up to that point, I didn’t see any of this stuff in me. 

 

Misty Williams  33:14

And so I wanted to just start to see it right, there was also I noticed a part of me that wanted everyone else to see it. And respond accordingly. 

 

Misty Williams  33:22

Like there was a part of me that didn’t, I didn’t know how to fully own this and embody something different. 

 

Misty Williams  33:27

So I was hoping that something outside of me is going to pick up the slack. And I quickly saw that, you know, there’s no one coming to save me, like it’s just me, and then I started catching myself. 

 

Misty Williams  33:39

And being was not solving all the problems. And not figuring out all the things and not being the person that would jump up with the solution. 

 

Misty Williams  33:48

I remember going to a restaurant one day with one of my very close girlfriends, he’s still a close girlfriend. 

 

Misty Williams  33:53

And I asked the waiter a couple, I knew I need to order something that had … I was probably doing some kind of cleanse or something at the time that fits this description. 

 

Misty Williams  34:02

What do you guys have on the menu? And I remember Tina looking at me like, after we had walked away, she was like, Who are you? 

 

Misty Williams  34:08

Now, I didn’t in that moment. I wasn’t  thinking about it from the perspective of I need to practice not having the solution. I was, I had been practicing just not embodying the same way. Right? 

 

Misty Williams  34:19

And when she said that, I realized, wow, that was a really big shift for me to not be the person that has to figure it all out or ask the question so I can figure it out myself. 

 

Misty Williams  34:28

But instead, I just created space for someone to figure it out for me. But there’s a whole lot to taking this apart whenever you realize that I’m I don’t know how to receive in the right ways.

 

Misty Williams  34:40

Or it’s feels uncomfortable to receive. Or I’m feeling vulnerable, receiving, you know, like it’s one thing to have an awareness of that in a moment. But it’s another thing to untangle all of this.

 

Jason Prall  34:49

Yeah. Well, you said it beautifully. And so so often when we walk through our lives, we’re just merged. We’re in our little tiny selves. 

 

Jason Prall  34:55

We’re not expanded and sort of watching ourselves interact with the world right? That’s Sort of more advanced practice. 

 

Jason Prall  35:01

So awareness practice that we can use or mindfulness practice, which is, which is beautiful. And we can just kind of watch ourselves without judgment. 

 

Jason Prall  35:07

But you know, the first step that you took was compassionate curiosity. Let me get to know myself, let’s see what’s going on here, right, let’s see what Misty likes to do. Right. 

 

Jason Prall  35:14

And, and it’s beautiful. I think this is one of the most practical tools that anybody can start to utilize. And it comes from, I think, in part, one of the maps or models that I like, is internal family systems. 

 

Jason Prall  35:26

And there’s some languaging that they use and a perspective on human psychology and human behavior, and sort of spiritual behavior or your spiritual kind of context.

 

Jason Prall  35:34

I think that they take that I really, really like. And you said it beautifully. He said, There’s a part of me. So they talk about parts a lot, right. 

 

Jason Prall  35:40

And so from that perspective, when we’re born, we come in fragmented. And this is actually what the indigenous, a lot of the indigenous people believe to, as well as other cultures, is that becoming fragmented, and sort of soul is fragmented all over the place in different realms. 

 

Jason Prall  35:52

And so in psychology, we have these parts of ourselves. And when we get overwhelmed, when certain things come up, these parts start to take over, right. 

 

Jason Prall  36:01

And so instead of being a whole integrated self, that can navigate the world, and we have all these little players. And so Misty might have 25 primary parts and managers that are all interacting and working with things right. 

 

Jason Prall  36:12

And so there’s a vulnerable one, there’s a vulnerable part that is scared and doesn’t know what to do and confused, and very, very sensitive, right? It needs so much care, and so much tenderness, right. 

 

Jason Prall  36:22

And that one, because it’s there’s so much fear and tenderness and softness, usually, there’s another part that comes in to protect that little tiny, Misty, that’s so beautiful and innocent, and scared and doesn’t know what to do. 

 

Jason Prall  36:33

And that one maybe tries to solve the problems are really good at problem solving, and coming over the top and being very assertive, right, and perhaps very defensive, or perhaps very aggressive, or whatever it is, are really good about hiding everybody, right and getting tucked away. 

 

Jason Prall  36:47

But there’s these parts of all of ourselves that come in and start to protect the vulnerable aspects, the soft ones, and start to manage the life.

 

Jason Prall  36:56

Whenever there’s a sense of overwhelm or confusion or fear, or whenever a need is not getting met. And that need can be safety, it can be a connection. 

 

Jason Prall  37:04

There’s all kinds of these needs, these fundamental needs that we have. So when those aren’t met, then these parts and managers come online, to protect ourselves. 

 

Jason Prall  37:11

And so this is just a really, really good place to start. It’s to start to get to know these parts, what parts and what programs do you run. 

 

Jason Prall  37:18

And look, you can use internal family systems, you can use the there’s five personality patterns, there’s a bunch of beautiful maps to sort of understand some of these aspects of ourselves. 

 

Jason Prall  37:27

One of them, that one part that I have, does a beautiful job for me, is the self critic. The one that’s, that’s highly critical of the world around me, and also highly critical of the things that I do. 

 

Jason Prall  37:39

Now, that’s a beautiful part, right. And a lot of our parts we tend not to like, it’s a tendency that we tend to judge. And, again, that’s a part of the part there’s judging all the other parts, right. 

 

Jason Prall  37:48

And so the critical one, right, and it’s one of my parts, it’s beautiful, because it’s finding all the dangers, it’s finding all the mistakes, all the errors, all the places that might create, overwhelm, or fear or anxiety or any kind of issue. 

 

Jason Prall  38:02

And so it’s highly, highly adaptive, and looking at all the issues, so that we don’t put ourselves into a place where we’re not getting our needs met, where connection might be taken away, where we’re not going to find unconditional love, where we’re not going to find safety. 

 

Jason Prall  38:15

So it’s really, really good at looking at all those things. So that’s one of my strengths, actually, now is that I can look and find a ton of different mistakes. 

 

Jason Prall  38:21

In fact, I was a quality control engineer back in my day. And that’s actually the whole point is to find mistakes, and figure out how to optimize the solution. 

 

Jason Prall  38:29

So we get, you know, perfect parts, so to speak, and the assembly line. And so it’s the strength, and if it’s if it’s running in the background constantly, it can be a limitation, a hindrance. 

 

Jason Prall  38:39

And so instead of creating a combative relationship with these parts, we can really that’s a part of ourselves, right? 

 

Jason Prall  38:46

So we want to actually love these parts work with these parts, and learn how to recognize that I am not that part. 

 

Jason Prall  38:52

So when that part comes online, the one that’s highly critical and judgmental, to recognize, oh, that my part, here’s my part. That’s not me.

 

Jason Prall  39:00

I’m the awareness that is, this is just a personality part. Hi, there’s that part. And I can actually the more advanced, awakened, adult version of myself can actually come in and sort of say, hi, acknowledge that part. hi, how are you doing? 

 

Jason Prall  39:15

And so I can work on that part. And sometimes we can actually create dialogue with these parts of ourselves, and ask them to step aside. 

 

Jason Prall  39:20

And sometimes they won’t, sometimes they’re very good at defending and protecting us. That’s why they’re there. 

 

Jason Prall  39:23

They’re there to protect us, right? And so to view to learn to think about these aspects of ourselves as little beings, so we have an orphanage of people within, inside of ourselves, right? 

 

Jason Prall  39:33

And some of them are two years old, and some of them are four and six and 10 and 12. Right. So you might hear people talk about, you know, I have my my inner child, alright, well, you don’t have an inner child, you’ve got dozens and dozens of inner children.

 

Jason Prall  39:44

Right. And so and they’re all different versions, and some of them are very, they’re not very sophisticated, and some are highly sophisticated. 

 

Jason Prall  39:51

They’re very tricky, that you gotta you they can they can trick you and so we can get identified with these parts. 

 

Jason Prall  39:57

So often when something comes somebody comes in, I have a two and a half year old children are very, very good at empowering parents too, are very, very good at activating our parts. 

 

Jason Prall  40:06

And so if we’re not aware, we get cotton apart really quickly? Whenever you’re in a fight with somebody, spouse, a loved one, you’re in a part guarantee. 

 

Jason Prall  40:12

And are they? And so you can start to learn to recognize these parts. And sometimes it doesn’t happen in the moment, sometimes it’s more reflective, and that part yeah, okay. 

 

Jason Prall  40:20

That’s why I was acting that way. Holy smokes, I was really defensive and right. And so usually there’s two or three parts going on, there’s one that’s super vulnerable and scared and afraid. 

 

Jason Prall  40:28

And there’s one that’s coming in and trying to protect and defend and aggressive and, and all these other things, right.

 

Jason Prall  40:32

So again, it’s getting closer to the real time acknowledgement of these parts. That’s the practice. So throughout our day, they can pop up, I get an email that says,  you owe $20,000, and it’s due tomorrow.

 

Jason Prall  40:45

That’s gonna activate a pardon me, right? Oh, my God, what, what the heck? Who missed this? Where’s where did this come from? Whose fault is this? Why isn’t this paid? Right? You the stories and the parts are gonna start to activate. Right? 

 

Jason Prall  40:54

So we can actually view these in real time. Or we can view them again after the fact. But the closer to the real time, acknowledgement of these parts as they arise.

 

Jason Prall  41:01

I can feel them in my system, maybe it activates my chest, maybe it’s sinking feeling in my stomach, maybe my I can feel a kind of a buzzing somewhere. 

 

Jason Prall  41:08

But you can feel these in the body recognize these parts come online, and you can start to work with him. Right. So again, using internal family systems or a model like that is very helpful. 

 

Jason Prall  41:16

But ultimately, this is this is getting to know ourselves. And that’s really what you did such a good job of is you got curious about these parts, and who’s showing up in these various scenarios. 

 

Jason Prall  41:25

And once you get to know them, and you can start to get to know what their needs are. So every part has a need. 

 

Jason Prall  41:30

And when we can get this the part it’s need, then it starts to become more integrated, it doesn’t run the show. Oftentimes, it requires another person to help us get the need met of this part. 

 

Jason Prall  41:41

It’s something that was missed when we were in our developmental years, we didn’t have another nervous system and other person there to sort of help us regulate and CO regulate this part. 

 

Jason Prall  41:50

And so sometimes it might take a therapist or a friend or a loved one or somebody who can, who can sit there and basically just love you for being you.

 

Jason Prall  41:56

Even when you’re on your part and get that part, the needs met of that part, then it can start to integrate, it can start to metabolize some of these pieces. 

 

Jason Prall  42:04

So that’s, that’s probably a good place to start for many people is just to really get to know themselves. And again, using these parts in these maps, I think is a really good way to do that.

 

Misty Williams  42:13

So I was reflecting as you were talking on this time in my life, when I was starting to get present to myself, one of the things that also started happening is a lot of relationships started falling away. 

 

Misty Williams  42:24

And I want to mention this because it’s an experience that is not unique to me, unfortunately, when I started seeing what I really needed, I began to see that I had constructed a web of relationships, that it worked for all involved for me to not have needs. 

 

Misty Williams  42:44

And now suddenly, I’m realizing that I do have needs, and it’s not working for everybody to say I’m not getting what, what I need from the relationship.

 

Misty Williams  42:52

They might be feeling resentful that you know, I’m not showing up the same way that I was before. And some of that was really scary.  

 

Misty Williams  42:58

I noticed it professionally and with my team at the time, there was a mass exodus in firing both that was happening on my team because I needed to change how everything was working. And I didn’t enter those relationships with that expectation. 

 

Misty Williams  43:13

So I’m like trying to change the deal, and it didn’t work for everyone. But I also noticed this in some friendships too. 

 

Misty Williams  43:20

I didn’t want to keep showing up providing and giving in the same way that I had not that I wanted to not give and provide but I needed more flow, I need more reciprocity. 

 

Misty Williams  43:29

So I just want to kind of put this on the table as we’re kind of wrapping up this talk that the commitment to this can be challenging.

 

Misty Williams  43:38

From the perspective of it, a lot of things get shaken, but I can tell in my own experiences tell you that on the other side of it, it’s pretty unbelievable the life that you’re able to create when there is flow and reciprocity and ease and you’re giving and you’re receiving.

 

Misty Williams  43:53

I mean I think about who I am today versus a decade ago when all of this started and it’s it’s mind blowing I had I had no clue what I was even missing you know, 

 

Misty Williams  44:02

I didn’t know like I feel like I’m in such an abundant place but when everything first happened for me I didn’t have financial margin in my life and I didn’t have, I didn’t know people, resources.

 

Misty Williams  44:13

I was in Nashville Tennessee it was very hard to find any doctor that was outside the conventional medicine box right to help me with things.  

 

Misty Williams  44:18

I just kept hearing your labs are normal and things are fine and this is supposed to be happening. So it was super scary super scary and embodying the receiving and deciding that I need things to be different and I’m going to believe that it’s possible for them to be different was really that first domino to fall. 

 

Misty Williams  44:36

And so many things happened without me making anything happen, which are people wired like you and me, Jason, it’s like kind of hard to fathom it. Life can be so easy, but it truly can be, its now much easier 

 

Jason Prall  44:47

When it does right when I’ve gotten those sort of proofs. I mean it’s the best feeling ever because you know I have only recently recognized how hard I’ve been working but internally yet I’ve recognized and I’m tired. Im tired of working so hard? 

 

Jason Prall  45:02

And then when things get to be easy, it’s it’s a kind of a mind blowing experience. Right? Yeah. And again, that’s a different level of reality that I didn’t know. 

 

Jason Prall  45:10

So it’s kind of in that camp of missed experiences.I didn’t realize that it could be that way. And once you start to template, these things, and they start to get encoded, so to speak, in your system, then you start to operate as if that’s how reality works. 

 

Jason Prall  45:24

And that’s to me. It’s all true. It can be hard, and it can be easy. 

 

Jason Prall  45:29

And so where do you want to be? And so how do we get there is the question and in my experience, it comes down to really addressing where these beliefs come from, where this mindset comes from? 

 

Jason Prall  45:39

Where are these energies that I’m operating from? How they get established? And how do I work through those. 

 

Jason Prall  45:44

And so once we start to address those, then we can, we can actually show up differently. And that’s when the world shows up differently to us. 

 

Jason Prall  45:52

So it’s it really does start within, but it’s the most unbelievably powerful tool. And it it shapes our reality, from our health, to our relationships to our finances, everywhere. 

 

Jason Prall  46:01

And this is, this is, in my experience, I don’t know that it has to be this way. But I’ve seen it demonstrated over and over again, that in this sort of these upgrades, so to speak of your sort of reality, things fall away, right. 

 

Jason Prall  46:12

And sometimes I would actually argue that that’s happening in the world right now. 

 

Jason Prall  46:17

Look 15 years ago, maybe 15 – 20 years ago, I recognized for the first time as the kids would say I was red pill, I recognize, but big pharma was big ad how much destruction was going on the medical system and how fraudulent and disruptive it is the university system.  

 

Jason Prall  46:32

All of these systems, the financial system, I was learning about the Federal Reserve and all the financial systems.

 

Jason Prall  46:37

And without getting into sort of the conspiracy theories, it’s just that the level of bureaucracy and and all these institutional corruption that was that was that was present. And I was looking at it and going, Oh, my God. 

 

Jason Prall  46:48

And that was sort of set me in a tailspin of sort of kind of depression in the sense of like, how do we get out of this? Because as far as I can see, it’s a big, big mess. 

 

Jason Prall  46:56

And what I’m looking at is sort of Holistic Health. And I see all these, these things are, they’re stacked up against me and us as individuals. 

 

Jason Prall  47:04

How do we how do we change this. And what I see now is that it’s all falling apart in the most beautiful, hectic, chaotic, scary way possible. And I would never have imagined it right. 

 

Jason Prall  47:14

And so I’m seeing the school system start to shift, right, the vaccination, things start to shift, homeschooling starting to become a thing, right, we have these alternative financial markets starting to emerge out of nowhere, organic movement has been continuously improving and moving forward. 

 

Jason Prall  47:29

All these systems are starting to kind of crumble and fall apart.  And so this is kind of a demonstration of what I’ve experienced in my life as I’ve moved forward. 

 

Jason Prall  47:38

And I think, again, I don’t know that it has to be this way. But it is very common, that it feels like your world is falling apart. 

 

Jason Prall  47:44

And this can be your relationships, this can be your finances, your business, right, you had a fire, everybody had to let anybody go people are quitting, whatever the case is, feels like things are falling apart. 

 

Jason Prall  47:52

And in reality, the truth is, is that you’re upgrading. That you’re moving on up to another level. And that requires a shedding of your skin, a shedding of your old ways. And it feels scary. 

 

Jason Prall  48:02

And it feels like what the heck is this, right? Because you’re stepping into something new. And you’ve never been there before. And you don’t know what it’s like, right? 

 

Jason Prall  48:08

So this is what’s so ironic and paradoxical about the whole thing is that because you’re upgrading, you think, Oh, it’s just going to naturally get easier along the way. 

 

Jason Prall  48:15

And as it actually gets harder, kind of, but it’s only because it’s something new. And then once you’re there, you recognize this is a better way of being right. 

 

Jason Prall  48:21

And so it’s it’s harder in the sense that it’s unfamiliar. You’re walking into the unknown. You get to you get to create something new. 

 

Jason Prall  48:28

That’s the beauty of it, right? And the things that you’re wanting to get rid of, were so comfortable, that you got used to them, and even though they’re not what you want, right? 

 

Jason Prall  48:36

And so it’s like losing weight, it’s like going to the gym, right? It’s getting thinner is not easier. It’s harder, but yet, it’s paradoxically easier as you at some point, it just becomes easier, right? So it’s very strange. I had all this emerges. 

 

Misty Williams  48:51

I remember talking to my friend Julie saying, exactly. Everything is falling apart. And she said to me, Misty, everything is falling together.  

 

Misty Williams  49:03

I remember getting this chill. And like there was something inside me that just left and I wanted, please let that be true. Please let that be true. Yeah. And it was true. 

 

Jason Prall  49:12

And the way to experience and my in my opinion, is to acknowledge the pain and the challenge and the fear. So it’s not in all of the things that we’ve talked about today. 

 

Jason Prall  49:20

It’s not about sort of changing your mindset and sort of, you know, these I think Tony Robbins calls them incantations, right, this idea of just changing a belief. 

 

Jason Prall  49:28

That’s good and it’s really important to feel what’s here now, feel the fear and feel the panic and feel the all this stuff. 

 

Jason Prall  49:35

Hopefully, you have the ability to process if not, you may need another body, another, being actually, another nervous system to help you co-regulate are really, really important because sometimes we don’t have the resource and we don’t know how to metabolize these things on our own. 

 

Jason Prall  49:47

It helps to have somebody help to metabolize these things. It’s not ideal to subvert these feelings. It’s not ideal to just shove them aside and go, Oh, no, it’s falling together. 

 

Jason Prall  49:54

It’s fine, right? That’s bypassing what’s really here and so to acknowledge what’s here to be able to process and metabolize it. And again, there’s information in it. 

 

Jason Prall  50:02

So if we can, if we can feel it, how discomfort how uncomfortable that is,  and really all the discomfort that I’m feeling in my body and my emotion state, on my energetic capacity in my visual capacity, whatever it is, how chaotic and uncomfortable at all is to process all that there’s something magical that happens. 

 

Jason Prall  50:19

There’s this transmutation that happens. We are Alchemist at our core. When we process these traumas, and these beliefs, and these, all this conditioning in this pain, what emerges on the other side of that is beauty and love and clarity.

 

Jason Prall  50:31

And it’s unbelievable. So it’s, it’s really hard to explain, but that’s what happens when we process and generally, it’s an embodied somatic experience, we process something and sometimes this looks like you hear it all the time from from people that are doing amazing things. 

 

Jason Prall  50:43

They reached a point in their life, and they fell on the bed, and they just cried, and they wept and they pray that things would be different, because they were in such a tremendous mess, right? 

 

Jason Prall  50:52

They basically hit their rock bottom, and they just cried. Right, that is a perfect example of actually moving the energy through, it was stuck in their system for so long. 

 

Jason Prall  51:00

And it was causing so much turmoil that eventually they finally moved it and look like this billowing cry, they’re weeping and they just got on their knees. 

 

Jason Prall  51:07

And they prayed and, you know, helped me find another way, right? Like they’re actually genuinely in it, and they move it through. 

 

Jason Prall  51:14

And what comes on the other side is something unbelievable, and it can actually be instantaneous. I’ve actually had this myself where something was so uncomfortable and emotional and challenging. 

 

Jason Prall  51:23

And as I moved it through in real time, there was an awakening process or realization that happened in the moment that magically shifted things. 

 

Jason Prall  51:29

And so that’s a really important thing to acknowledge here is that to really honor what’s happening, not bypass it, and feel it and just recognize that that’s real to what you’re experiencing is really just not the full truth. 

 

Jason Prall  51:40

There’s a bigger truth out there, right. And so as we move into these sort of new levels of reality, it gets to be fun, right? 

 

Jason Prall  51:47

So it’s it’s holding multiple perspectives like Oh, my God, it does feel like things are falling apart, I can acknowledge that. 

 

Jason Prall  51:52

And there’s another aspect of myself that recognizes there’s a bigger truth out there that is waiting for me. That’s really, really exciting.

 

Misty Williams  51:58

And it’s really important. I think that when you’re in the darkness of things falling apart, which I’m in my experience of that moment.

 

Misty Williams  52:04

But many, many times in my life, when you’re in the darkness that you that you do what you just said, and that is you don’t believe it’s the totality of the truth of your experience, right? 

 

Misty Williams  52:14

Like I’ve learned, I have some muscle around that now where like, this is hard, and it feels scary. And I don’t, I don’t know what’s on the other side, or I don’t know how I’m gonna get through this. 

 

Misty Williams  52:20

But I’m just going to visualize what, what it is I want and what I’m committed to. And I’m going to trust that everything’s going to be okay. 

 

Misty Williams  52:26

And the word surrender, as we’ve been talking has come up over and over and over for me.

 

Jason Prall  52:29

Yeah. And that’s, that’s an interesting one, right? Because there’s this idea of surrender and acceptance and letting go. 

 

Jason Prall  52:35

And your system only knows how to do that to whatever degree it knows how, right and you can’t just force it, like your system was brilliant. 

 

Jason Prall  52:41

So if there’s let let things go, because 

 

Misty Williams  52:43

Right, right, 

 

Jason Prall  52:43

Let things go as a six month old, then you die. So we don’t just naturally do that. There’s, it’s a, it’s something that needs to be stabilized. 

 

Jason Prall  52:51

And we kind of we get better at it and better at it when we start to do it and accept more and more when we find safety and the ability to do that. 

 

Jason Prall  52:57

But there’s a process that happens in that sort of letting go. So it’s I think the one of the biggest skills again, in this is to be able to recognize when you’re caught and merged in an experience. 

 

Jason Prall  53:11

And instead of being merged, we can actually do that in real time. Oh, I’m actually merged in the part here, oh, wow, I’m really, I’m really caught in the fear. 

 

Jason Prall  53:18

And I’ve done this many times. And it’s funny how long it can take a day, it can take a minute, it can take a few days, whatever it is, but you find the recognize, oh, my gosh, I’ve been caught in a part this whole time.

 

Jason Prall  53:26

I’ve been so merged with my experience, then we get a little separation from that experience. And we can still feel the experience and an aspect of ourselves can witness while we’re doing it. 

 

Jason Prall  53:35

And when you can do that, you can do that in a relationship when you’re an argument of like, wow, yeah, sorry, I’m really just activated right now I’m really triggered. Right? 

 

Jason Prall  53:42

And so you can, so what you’re doing is you’re dis-identifying with the one that’s triggered. You’re just saying I’m feeling really triggered.

 

Jason Prall  53:48

And so you can acknowledge that like, Yeah, wow, like this little part of Jason’s getting really activated here. And yeah, I’m just noticing that I’m really pissed. 

 

Jason Prall  53:56

I’m just feeling really pissed off at you right now. Yeah, this is interesting, right? So it’s like, you can you can bring some, a little bit more levity to it, you can acknowledge it, but also not get so fused with it, right. 

 

Jason Prall  54:05

And then when you when you can have that dialogue with yourself, as well as hopefully with another person. 

 

Jason Prall  54:10

And you know, I’m just feeling really triggered right now, by nothing you’re doing wrong. It’s just this is really triggering me.

 

Jason Prall  54:15

Now you’re sort of you’re owning it, right? You’re not putting the blame on the other person, but you’re also not getting so fused with it. And you can just acknowledge that that aspect that’s showing up. 

 

Jason Prall  54:24

And so having that dialogue with yourself, it’s a really big skill to bring into relationships to bring into yourself, when you’re working. 

 

Jason Prall  54:30

When you’re going throughout your day, when you’re you know, getting get cut off in traffic, when anything goes wrong, you can start to recognize Oh, wow, look at me, and I’m really activated. 

 

Jason Prall  54:39

There’s, really triggering me. That’s interesting. And so you can bring some curiosity to it some compassion to it while not bypassing

 

Jason Prall  54:46

When you can do that, then you can start to learn what’s happening and you can start to get, you find your patterns. 

 

Jason Prall  54:50

And that’s a really, really important skill to have. Again, it goes back to that that thing that you did at the beginning, which is I’m gonna get to know Misty

 

Jason Prall  54:55

So that’s a huge quality to have and start to get to know your patterns and your parts and when you’re getting triggered and what how you get out of it right and that’s that’s a curiosity that you might have.

 

Jason Prall  55:04

You might pray about it, you might meditate on it, you might do a walking meditation with it, you might reflect on it, you might ask somebody, right 

 

Jason Prall  55:10

If you’re if you’re vulnerable enough to be able to get some honest feedback from others, that can point you to these truths as well. 

 

Jason Prall  55:16

So there’s a lot that you can do. But I think it really starts from this idea of getting unmerged from the experience itself, and getting getting that having that compassionate curiosity.

 

Misty Williams  55:25

Awesome. Well, this has been an amazing conversation, I could go for another hour, I would love for you to let everyone listening know where they could find more information about you and your work online.

 

Jason Prall  55:33

Yeah, you can go to awakencollective.com You can find some of my work there, as well as human longevity film.com And you can find me there as well.

 

Misty Williams  55:41

Awesome. Well, we’ll have all the links to this in the show notes. Also separate several of the books and and modalities that we talked about during this interview will be in the show notes as well over at healing rosie.com Thank you so much, Jason, this has been a wonderful conversation. 

 

Jason Prall  55:53

Thanks. Always good to see you. 

 

Misty Williams  55:55

Alright, we’ll see you guys. 

 

Misty Williams  55:56

That’s it for this week’s episode. Thank you for listening. I hope you’re feeling more empowered to overcome your flabby, foggy and fatigue and to reclaim your life. If you haven’t subscribed yet, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button right now so you don’t miss any of our episodes. 

 

Misty Williams  56:10

We have some awesome shows coming right up. I love reading your reviews and comments too. They inspire me and encourage other Rosie’s to hang out with us and learn all these amazing strategies for healing and living our best lives. Till next time sister. Bye

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About Misty Williams
& Healing Rosie

Misty Williams spent years struggling to reclaim her health and vitality after surgery to remove an ovarian cyst, life-threatening complications and an endometriosis diagnosis sent her into a brain fog and fatigue tailspin.
Her doctor told her that the only remedies for her issues were drugs and surgeries, that her labs were “normal” and she could “google” to learn more about what was happening to her body.
At 35 years old, Misty embarked on the fight for her quality of life, enduring many more challenges on her road to healing, including an unexplained 45-lb weight gain, debilitating brain fog, fatigue, hypothyroidism, and premature ovarian failure.

She founded HealingRosie.com to provide high-performing women with the resources an community to successfully confront the unexpected chronic health issues that women often experienced as they age.

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